Starkit's Prophecy Commentary
by Lightning and Moon
Summary: Cynthia and Jade struggle to read this trollfic and survive.
1. Spelling Mistakes and Randomness

**Okay, so Moonshadow and I decided to do a commentary on Starkit's Prophecy and we've heard how messed up it is. Here we go.**

ALLIANCES

**Cynthia: The first word, and you've already spelt it wrong.  
Jade: *sarcasm* Yay -.-**

ok so like i said this iks my first story be nice plz  
**Cynthia: Right...so...okay...I'll try.  
Jade: Um...Maybe? **  
btw its set afte rsunset so  
**Cynthia: I'm starting to think she types with her elbows.  
Jade: *spits juice out* I can read this *Closes eyes and cries***  
ThunderClan

Leader: Firestar - ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

Deputy: Brambleclaw - dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Medicine Cat: JayFeather-gray tom

Warriors:

Squirrelflight - dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Foxpaw

Dustpelt - dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm - pale ginger she-ca

Cloudtail - long-haired white tom

Apprentice DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

**Cynthia: The hell? I thought Daisy didn't have a warrior name and chose not to?  
Jade: HAHAHA DAISYPAW? SINCE WHEN? you're kidding me **

Brackenfur - golden brown tabby tom

Sorreltail - tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

Thornclaw - golden brown tabby tom

Brightheart - white she-cat with ginger patches

Spiderleg - long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

Whitewing - white she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Icepaw

Birchfall - light brown tabby tom

Graystripe - long-haired gray tom

Berrynose - cream-colored tom

Hazeltail - small gray-and-white she-cat

Mousewhisker - gray-and-white tom

Cinderheart - gray tabby she-cat

Poppyfrost - tortoiseshell she-cat

Honeyfern- light brown tabby she-cat

Lionblaze - golden tabby tom

Hollyleaf - black she-cat

FoxHeart-reddish tabby tom

IceFire-white she cat

**Cynthia: Ah, I don't remember reading about this cat before. Oh wait, she's made up.  
Jade: ICEFIRE?! wasn't it Icecloud...Oh wait...yeah she made it up**

ToadRibbit-black—and-white tom

**Cynthia: These are the worse F-ing names I have ever heard of.  
Jade: PTTFFF AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH DO THEY EVEN KNOW WHAT RIBBIT IS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH**

RoseFlame-dark cream she cat

BriarStorm-dark brown she cat

**Cynthia: 'scuse me.  
Jade: Didn't she like, break her back...**

BumbleFlower-very pale gray tom with black stipes

**Cynthia: WHAT KIND OF EXCUSE OF A LEADER WOULD NAME A TOM WARRIOR WITH THE SECOND NAME "FLOWER"?!  
Jade: ... Very manly...very manly... **

BlossomWind-pale brown she cat iwth a dark stripe along her spine

**Cynthia: sigh  
Jade: Ohhhhkaaaaaaay?**

Apprentices:

Fox DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

**Cynthia: O_O  
Jade: Is she like half fox or something **

FlamePaw-firecolored she cat with one grnee eye one blue eye

LakePaw-bright blue gray she cat with blue eyes

The last 2 r starKits siters

**Cynthia: Siters? the hell are siters? Do they even belong in the family?  
Jade: Baby sitters? THEY SIT ON BABIES?! Against the warrior code...**

JazzPaw-red she cat with blue eyes and a black tail

**Cynthia: Do cats even know what jazz is?  
Jade: Guess not...Red she-cat...Was she dipped in blood or something o.O**

Queens:

Ferncloud - pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes mother of Dustpelts kits

Dawnsparkle-bright tortishell she cat with garguntan blue eye's mother of Jayfeathers' ktis, formaly of Shadowclan

**Cynthia: "gargantuan." That's a rather...interesting word. Are her eyes as big as dinosaurs or something? Also, dem spelling mistakes are killing me. groan  
Jade: Ohhhhkaaaay? This is weird...sparkle...gargantuan...mate of jayfeather... Oh star clan help us *cries in a corner***

Kits:

StarKit-graysh-blue-and purple she cat with molting orange eyes and a white star on her forhaed

**Cynthia: Sh*t! What if she becomes a leader? Starstar? That's even worse than Toadribbit.  
Jade: TOOOTALLY AGREED! FIRESTAR HOW DO YOU ALLOW THIS?! **

Elders:

Longtail - pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing sight

Mousefur - small dusky brown she-cat

Weaslepelt-big red tabby he cat with bight yellow eyes (hes Rowanclaw's dad, he came to Thunderclan when Dawn- did0

**Cynthia: Huh? aren't "he-cats" toms? OH PURLEASE.  
Jade: he-cats is that a mix between she-cats and toms *cough cough Shemale *cough cough***

LeafPool-brown tabby she cat

**Cynthia: *no comments***  
**Jade: Since when?**

ShadowClan

Leader: Blackstar - large white tom with huge jet-black paws

Deputy: Russetfur - dark ginger she-cat

Medicine Cat: Littlecloud - very small tabby tom

Apprentice, Flamepaw (ginger tom)

Warriors:

Oakfur - small brown tom

Apprentice, Tigerpaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Rowanclaw - ginger tom

Smokefoot - black tom

Apprentice, Owlpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Ivytail - black, white and tortoiseshell she-cat

Apprentice, Dawnpaw (cream-furred she-cat)

Toadfoot - dark brown tom

Crowfrost - black-and-white tom

Apprentice, Olivepaw (tortoiseshell she-cat)

Kinkfur - tabby she-cat, with long fur that sticks out at all angles

Ratscar - brown tom with long scar across his back

Apprentice, Shrewpaw (gray she-cat with black feet)

Snaketail - dark brown tabby tom with striped tail

Apprentice, Scorchpaw (dark gray tom)

Whitewater - white she-cat with long fur, blind in one eye

Apprentice, Redpaw (mottled brown and ginger tom)

Tawnypelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes

Flamewind- flame color tabby tom with green eye's

Tigerclaw-huge dark brown tabby tom with long claw's and amber eys

DawnFeather-cream tabby she cat (shes a different cant then the one in tC ok?)

OlivePaw-bright brown she cat

Queens:

Snowbird - pure white she-cat

Elders:

Cedarheart - dark gray tom

Tallpoppy - long-legged light brown she-cat  
**Cynthia: You're an embarrassment to Thunderclan, my dear.  
Jade: HOW COME SHE GOT SHADOWCLAN RIGHT BUT NOT THUNDERCLAN *screams***

WindClan

Leader: Onestar - brown tabby tom

Deputy: Ashfoot - gray she-cat

Medicine Cat: Barkface - short-tailed brown tom

Apprentice, Kestrelpaw (mottled gray tom)

Warriors:

Tornear - tabby tom

Crowfeather - dark gray tom

Owlwhisker - light brown tabby tom

Whitetail - small white she-cat

Nightcloud - black she-cat

Gorsetail - very pale gray-and-white cat with blue eyes

Weaselfur - ginger tom with white paws

Harespring - brown-and-white tom

Leaftail - dark tabby tom, amber eyes

Apprentice, Thistlepaw (long-haired white tom)

Dewspots - spotted gray she-cat

Apprentice, Sedgepaw (light brown tabby she-cat)

Willowclaw - gray she-cat

Apprentice, Swallowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Antpelt - brown tom with one black ear

Emberfoot - gray tom with two dark paws

Apprentice, Sunpaw (tortoiseshell she-cat with large white mark on her forehead)

Heathertail - light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes

Breezepelt - black tom with amber eyes

Elders:

Morningflower - very old tortoiseshell queen

Webfoot - dark gray tabby tom

**Jade: WHY ONLY THUNDERCLAN!  
Cynthia: OF COURSE MORNINGFLOWER'S OLD SHE'S AN ELDER HUH THANK YOU DOCTOR OBVIOUS**

RiverClan

Leader: Leopardstar - unusually spotted golden tabby she-cat

Deputy: Mistyfoot - gray she-cat with blue eyes

Medicine Cat: Mothwing - dappled golden she-cat

Apprentice, Willowshine (gray tabby she-cat)

Warriors:

Blackclaw - smoky-black tom

Voletooth - small brown tabby tom

Apprentice, Minnowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Reedwhisker - black tom

Mosspelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with blue eyes

Apprentice, Pebblepaw (mottled gray tom)

Beechfur - light brown tom

Rippletail - dark gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Mallowpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Graymist - pale gray tabby

Dawnflower - pale gray she-cat

Dapplenose - mottled gray she-cat

Pouncetail - ginger-and-white tom

Mintfur - light gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Nettlepaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Otterheart - dark brown she-cat

Apprentice, Sneezepaw (gray-and-white tom)

Pinefur - very short-haired tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Robinpaw (tortoiseshell-and-white tom)

Rainstorm - mottled gray-blue tom

Duskfur - brown tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Copperpaw (dark ginger she-cat)

**Cynthia: WELCOMEEEEE TO THE METAL AGGEEEEE OF THE CATSSSSSSSS *echoes*  
Jade: seems legit...seems legit *heavy sarcasm***

Queens:

Icewing - white cat with green eyes, mother of Beetlekit, Pricklekit, Petalkit, and Grasskit

Elders:

Heavystep - thickset tabby tom

Swallowtail - dark tabby she-cat

Stonestream - gray tom

**Cynthia: This was torture. We'll need more endurance for this. Hopefully. Starclan.  
Jade: I'm almost dead. **


	2. French

Chpater oen prouloge  
**Cynthia: Oh starclan. *yawns*  
Jade: Am I reading french here? **

The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright.  
**Cynthia: "Cats gather around a pool AKA Moonpool and sees things" cliche.  
Jade: The blue she-cat...Is she Bluestar? Stormtail? **

"There is a prophecy!" She said. "out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."  
**Cynthia: Starclan are clearly running out of prophecy ideas here.  
Jade: I WONDER WHO IT IS?! -.- **

"Its about StarKit!" A white tom said. "Shes going to save the forest," He looked at a gold tom by BlueStar. "she has powers nobody dreamed of." Said the gold tom. "Should we tell JayFeather?" He asked. "Yes." Said BlueStar. "he needs to know."  
**Cynthia: *gasp* I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. and... "Powers nobody dreamed of" cliche.  
Jade: *GASPS* NO WAAY **

She walked away from the pool to tell JayFeather about the prophcy.

did u like it? plz tell me in urm review!  
**Cynthia: No. Just..no.  
Jade: Still deciding :3**

Chapter to the rose of a Heroin  
**Cynthia: ._.  
Jade: Rose..? **

ok jazzie-kun pleas dont get mad at me cause your not in it yet. You'l apear soon dont worry.  
**Cynthia: GET MAD GET MAD GET MAD PLEASE  
Jade: meh...She appeared in the Allegiances**

StarKit wock up and sunlit was in the branches. She closed her eyes againstill tired. Butter mom wouldn't let her sleep not today.  
**Cynthia: Butter moms. Marmalade kittens. IM HUNGRY.  
Jade: Wock..Lock? oh wow**

"Sweety its time to get up" said Dawnsparkle; her eys shinning. "Today is important today."  
**Cynthia: Shinning.  
Jade: Is it? **

"What is it Mom" said StarKit awake right away. Then the she cat rememembered what today was.

"Ohmigosh its my serimony today!' she squelled excercisedly. Today was the day she was an apprentice!  
**Cynthia: Does she burn carbs "squelling"?  
Jade: Firstly, Theres no Ohmigosh and HOW IS SHE AN APPRENTICE WHEN SHE JUST WOKE UP?!**

She flicked outside not even waiting for her Mom. But her Mom cot up to her quick.  
**Cynthia: Apparently cats call their mother "MOM" now.**

**Jade: She WHAT?! SHE FLICKED OUTSIDE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH**

"Sweety you know the clans don't except cat slike use sometimes." She said.  
**Cynthia: Wh-at?**

**Jade: I don't understand this sentence...**

StarKit glared. She didn't lake beig told that. Just because her Mom was a usedto be Shadowclan cat and her dad was jayFeather the medicine Cat didn"t mean she ws different!  
**Cynthia: Glared at who? The rock? Herself? I need more details please.**

**Jade: Uhh yeah it does...**

"StarPaw come here." Said FireStar from the leg. He jumped down.  
**Cynthia: She's an apprentice before the ceremony. This is messed up.**

**Jade: She's a 'paw already? Anyyyway...from the leg...wow**

"StarKit it s tome for you to become an apentice: he said. "Your a strong brave cat and because of that I will mentor with you."  
**Cynthia: How do you know she's strong and brave? Have you been stalking her? Also, you're an F-ing kit and he's a LEADER already ffs..and already has a generation. =_=**

**Jade: Sure sure sure -.-**

Ever body gasped. StarKit did too. Se herd hear mother say "Wow!".  
**Cynthia: Apparently cats don't meow anymore.**

Firehert liked her shoulder. He whispered in her ear "youll be the best their ever was StarPaw I know ti."

**Jade: Fireheart? LIKED? *faints* What has this clan become to**

**Cynthia: Nice shoulder, Starpaw. **

Surpised she walked away when they were done howling for her./ Then she went ofer to JayFeathern and DawnSparkle who were very prod.  
**Cynthia: Howling? HOWLING? They're mourning or something? **

**Jade: So...they turned to dogs eh?**

"Daughetr where very happy but he have to say something said Jayfeather his chest puffed ouit. "You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."

**Jade: What happened to Jayfeather's grumpy attitude?  
****Cynthia: That is** **the worst deliverance of a prophecy I have ever read.**

StarPaw gasped. What does it mean?

**Jade: PICK MEEE I CAN TELL YOU PICKK MEEEE. No, use your brain, it's pretty obvious  
****Cynthia: *gasp* I DON'T KNOW!**

_**lol I update fast dont i. REVEIW or ill hit over the head with a frying pan! XDD jk**_

**Jade: I won't allow it. I'll steal that frying pan and hit you :3  
Cynthia: We're reviewing. Calm yo tits please. Or I shall tazor yo arse.**


	3. Text Messaging

Chapter three the Battle 4 the caln  
**Cynthia: This is not text messaging. Please.  
Jade: *looks up from phone* Huh?**

thx jazzie-kun 4 th good review! and stop flmaing the stroy!1 i bet u cant right such a good story!1!1  
**Cynthia: I bet she can.  
Jade: Uhh I think I can...*calls english teacher* Hey miss, Yeah I would like to ask if I could write a good story *nods* mm THANKS! *hangs ****ups* SHE SAID I COULD :D**

StarPaw walkd over too the appentice's den. Insid she saw her sister's FlamePaw and lakePaw and hr frend JazzPaw (a.n: jazzie-kin ur my bff!) waz slepping on the mos.  
**Cynthia: That bff part was not necessary.  
Jade: Mos..is that a new type of stone?**

"JazzPaw get up." She cried. JazzPaw opend her brlliaint blu eyes and looked at hr.

"Do yo want 2 go on pattrol wit me?" she asked.

**Jade: Apprentices can't lead patrols or order anyone to be on a patrol...unless the deputy asks them**

"Sure!" Said JazzPaw getten up from the moss. They leavt and went two the entrnse too camp.

But then, a cat came in thru the entrnce! It was BlackStar!1!11  
**Cynthia: What a bad bff you are, waking up Jazzpaw whenever you like.  
Jade: OMSC ITS BLACKSTAR111111111- is that an account? **

"Shadowclan are attaking!" She yelled. All the cats came out from there dens. She jumped on a cat and clawd him and he ran of.  
**Cynthia: So was it only Blackstar, or...I don't know...has Blackstar turned into like clones of himself?  
Jade: ptff what a baby Blackstar is *dies laughing***

"Good job StarPaw!" FireStar called, "The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. Your a good fihter!"  
**Cynthia: Nope. Still got Lionblaze to beat. Sandstorm's only the best hunter.  
Jade: Yeah..I thought Lionblaze was the fighter, not Sandstorm **

StarPaw was happy. She wus a good fihgter! Maybey this was wat the prophcy meant.  
**Cynthia: Ah sure...what about the battle leh?  
Jade: I'm really confused**

thnkx and ples no more flams  
**Cynthia: Yo welcome ma friend.  
Jade: *grumbles* alright alright, no worries, you won't BURN XD mai awesome puns**


	4. I Lost Count

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Star  
**Cynthia: Isn't it like...4? You lost count after 3 chapters. Seriously?  
****Jade: *shrugs* I can't keep track of the chapters **  
OMGOSH GUkys im so sorry but SOMEONE glares at rainy days FLAMED ME AND I GOT REALLY HURT. OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know.  
**Cynthia: Rain can hurt you? I never knew that. Was it acid rain?  
Jade: It was probably raining cats and dogs, thats why it hurts **

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Stars  
**Cynthia: Again?  
Jade: Is it only me, or like when you read the title, you think of counting stars- OneRepublic **

Shadowclan run from the camp. StarPaw smiled. Shed one! Noone cod hurt her family now .  
**Cynthia: Get the tenses right.  
Jade: Shed...like the one where you put your gardening tools in**

StarPaw!" said FireStar. "Its time we train!" I want to show you how to fight!"z  
**Cynthia: So soon?  
Jade: That was quick...at this rate, she'll be a warrior in no time THAT AIN'T FAIR**

"Ok." Sad StarPaw happl;y. "but yo just saw I culd fight, write?" "Well, ya." said FireStar. "But I wnted tol see if that was all you new."  
**Cynthia: They be usin' slang now eh?  
Jade: WRITE! YOU CAN FIGHT WRITE! wait what?**

"Ok." They went to the frost togather and the other cats cleaned jp the bodies. "Ok StarPaw" said Firestar one they got their. "We'll start with how to dog."  
**Cynthia: Firestar. You're a bad leader.  
Jade: yes we well start with learning to be a dog NO NOT A CAT A DOG. D-O-G **

"Cmon thas too easy!" yelled StarPaw. Shed just beat BlackStar she was ready for anything!  
**Cynthia: Blackstar ain't as good as Lionblaze.  
Jade: *sighs and shakes head* I think she's starting to be a little arrogant **

"ok Ok" mewled FiresTar, lets learn how to claw an oponit.  
**Cynthia: So is the mentor the apprentice now..?  
Jade: Mewled makes him sound like a kit.**

"Ya." Yowled Starkit. She jumped at FireStar not Giving hiM time to attakc. "She hit his side he didn't move he was to surprise.d she clawed him and he started bledding. "wow StarPaw" he said ".Your doing awesome." "Really?" gaped StarPaw. She didn't think she was doing that god was she relly special like the porphesy meowed?  
**Cynthia: He didn't tell you to attack by instinct, so why..? And besides, you're supposed to sheath your claws. Wow StarKIT. Great job.  
Jade: Hey StarKIT, you're not suppose to use your claws, so don't CLAW your leader. **

"Yes StarPaw." Snarled Firestar. "I couldnteven get away in fast enough. Only scourg was did that before.,"  
**Cynthia: Is he angry?  
Jade: Wasn't it Scourge...Honey, you're missing an e**

"OMGOSH REALLY?" asked StarPaw. Scourg?1? THE SCOURG? She dherad so muchj about him he was really evil and killed alot of cats. "I'M LIKE SCOURG? "I didnt mean it like that" FirePaw sad fastly. "I ment you wer a good fighter. Its really cool." At that minute he thought to himself 'Starpaws so kawaii look at her eys and her fur.  
**Cynthia: *drops down dead*  
Jade: YES ITS DA SCROURG. Kawaii? KAWAII? SINCE WHEN DO CATS KNOW WHAT KAWAII IS?!**

"Oh ok thanks." They trained floor awhile later StarPaw beat FireStar 8 times once she let him win to make him fel bettar and b y the last one she was alittle tired.

"Hey FireStar can we hunt now." Said StarPaw. "im kinda hungry."

"Oh we'll if you want." Firestar was disappointed he and; starPaw had been having so much fun. So they went huntng, StarPaw messed up a couple times but FireStar said it was okaysince it was only her second time (she'd had her first time when she was a littlekit and she and FireStar had snuck out together that's why he chose her as his apprentice_.  
**Cynthia: Huh.  
Jade: Thats against the warrior code**

Later that night StarPaw locked up at the stars. She and Firestar had'd so much fun this day. Theyd brung back enough food for the hole clan.  
**Cynthia: Thunderclan is now Holeclan. Right.  
Jade: YES LOCK HER UP IN THE STARS! **

Locking upn at the stars she turned to her best friend, JazzPaw, and said, "Do you think well ever be up there."

"Ya totally." Said JazzPaww. "I mean youll be l,eader and I'll be depudy one day well have too!"  
**Cynthia: No, I have a feeling Jazzpaw will be a much better leader than you will, Starpaw.  
Jade: NO YOU ALL BELONG IN THE DARK FOREST NOW GO!**

"Ya." Said StarPaw smiling she loved JazzPaw NOT IN THAT WAY U SICKOS!) they were best friends. She loked up at the stars again and smiled and fell asleep wit the Starcaln voices whisper in her head.  
**Cynthia: How'd she know they'd be Starclan voices?  
Jade: Well, you were the one saying she LOVED Jazzpaw...So i guess its kinda your fault...THE FAULT IN OUR STARS :D**

REVIEW R MY LIFE

(lol u like it Jazzy I mead you as kawai as I could(  
**Cynthia: She didn't seem so kawaii.  
Jade: *shakes head* I still don't get why you, CYNTHIA forced me to comment on this story  
Cynthia: I didn't force you. I INVITED you. And you agreed to.  
Jade: oh.**


	5. Christianity

Chapter For StarPaws decids  
flamrs ur all satanits!11 anyon who dosent like the stro is a staneist cause StarGIPaw has such a strng conecton with sTarcaln and thats why you dot like it, its cause u do ntlik JEZUS!  
**Cynthia: I'm a Christian and I find this offensive.  
Jade: I'm offensive and I find this Christian.  
Cynthia: Shaddup.**

"StarPaw wok up its tim 4 parole."  
**Cynthia: She doesn't deserve a parole.  
Jade: VAT DIS**

StarPaw opnd hr brite reinbow eys and locked arund.

**Cynthia: RAINBOW EYES? WHAT?  
Jade: IM WALKING ON RAINBOW- wait it's sunshine...NEEEVER MIND**

"Omigosh who wus tha!1!1"Sshe yellow.  
**Cynthia: yellow.  
JADE: AND ITS ALL YELLOW- Yellow, Coldplay**

"Its me GrayStipe" GrayStrip wisperd in her er. StarPaw gottedup.  
**Cynthia: Oh Starclan please don't let it be what I think it is...  
Jade: *thinks* DONT LAUGH DONT LAUGH ptttffff HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GRAYSTRIP**

"Omigosh Graystip what do u want!1 she yelped GrayStrpe locked at hr. "Wll u be my mat" hE ESked.  
**Cynthia: MATS MADE OF STARKIT'S FUR AT $9.99 ONLY SOLD IN WALMART, LIMITED EDITION!  
Cynthia: Scene does not contain lap dance.  
Jade: SURE I'LL BE YOUR MAT. Wait...Doesn't he have Millie?**

"OMigosh grayStripe thats so nic!" StarKit scremed. "but FireStar alredy esked me."  
**Cynthia: Really? I didn't know.  
Jade: WHEN? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?**

"wel then hes jst an idot."  
**Cynthia: Wow. Just...wow.  
Jade: Weren't they friends?**

"wel then hes jst an idot."

**Cynthia: *closes eyes* I will calm down. I will calm down. *screams*  
Jade: Didn't we have this already?**

y do u say tha?" yellED STARPaw GayStrip locked at hr meanly. "i dont lik him" sqeakd GrayStripe he locked arund fastly. "hes a mean cat!  
**Cynthia: -_- But then, you managed to make all the cats in this clan dickheads.  
Jade: GRAYSTRIPE SQUEAKS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN SOOOO IMAGINE THAT XD**

"OMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURG?" STARPAW SHOCKED.

"No ur much prtter then sourg" said Graystripe he licked her on the head I want u to be my mat." he yeleled.  
**Cynthia: yeleled. Also, mat.  
Jade: YELELELELELELELELELELLELELELELELELELELELLED :3**

"Well mabey. but what would FireStar say?" she wispereed. GrayStripe locked around agan. "I dont think he wuld mind." said GraStri;e  
**Cynthia: He would say, that this relationship would be incest.  
Jade: I think he would, i mean...he is kinda possessive **

"OMIGOSH SUR THAN!" StarPaww yelleded happly.  
**Cynthia: You cheater.  
Jade: YOU CHEAT ON FIRESTAR WHO CHEATS ON SANDSTORM..Wow this is confusing**

"Wat ar uo ta;kin abut" said FireHert he was walkin up. He locked angrily.  
**Cynthia: *whispers* Firestar, you're supposed to be in the leader's den, not eavesdropping.  
Jade: Wait...Why is Firestar-i mean- heart eavesdropping I WANNA JOIN TOOO! **

"oh uhhhh nuthin FireStar go back to sleep!" mwled StarPaw hoppin he would leaf so she culd be alon with grayStripe.

"Yah FireStra theres nithing to wory about!" cherrid GrayStrpe but Firestar didn't leave insted he said i thought I herd you asking her to be our mate."  
**Cynthia: Sharp hearing, Firestar.  
Jade: Wow, Just wow**

"oh uh yeh. yELLED STARPaw but he didn;t leaf instead he jumped on GrayStripe!1!11  
**Cynthia: well that escalated quickly.  
Jade: HE DIDNT LEAF! HE DID'T WANT TO BE A LEAF! **

"I Want to be wit her!" said FireHart attakin GraySriep.

"No I do!" shouted.

"guysys stop fihting you can BOTH be my mats! StarPaw wispered apply like seCert."  
**Cynthia: GRAYSTRIPE AND FIRESTAR MATS ONLY $13.77 AT TARGET! COME GET ONE NOW!  
Jade: wispered apply like secret. *reads it 11 times* nope still don't get it**

"No we can;t do that their can only be 1!11 Howled Firestar. "Otterwies youll chet on us."

"So StarGleam, who will u pik?" giggled GayStipe.  
**Cynthia: *shakes head in disapproval* this is not TIME FOR GIGGLING GAYSTIPE (notice the word gay -_-)  
Jade: HAHA GAYSTRIPE GIGGLED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAH Wait...STARGLEAM?**


	6. Saints

Chapter Five Untidles  
**Cynthia: What's Untidles?  
****Jade: LOL I THOUGHT IT SAID UNDIES**  
UR OLL JUST SAINTS y cant u just except jEsuss it wold mae ur life so much mor engoyable u would never haf to worr/ again  
**Cynthia: Thank you, but I'm not a saint.  
Jade: Why thank you, I an honoured to be a saint :3**

StarPaw sad "I..i….." she was so foncusded! Thes to cats hard asked her to b there mates an wht was she supops to do? They we beoth handsome and althing, but bot had matss! Nhd she luvved them both! FirstAr wus so kind and he oviusly likked her allot. GayStirpe was so funny and col.  
**Cynthia: Eh?  
Jade: Hehehe foncusded XD omg im laughing my head of at this 'sentence' ...^**

"!" said StarPaw ass she ruan in to the forest. It wus to muck# she culdnt choss!  
**Cynthia: ass. She ran away with her ass behind her.  
Jade: HASHTAG ######## She's an ASS? thats kinda harsh **

She run and ran and run til ur paws her hurtinged. Hen she rrellized she corsed the broader. Oih no she thugh Shadowclan will get me. "wut are you ding here?" sd BalkStar s he waked up.  
**Cynthia: BLACKSTAR WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS. CHASE HER OFF. SHE JUST ATTACKED YOU AT THEIR CAMP.  
Jade: totally agreed with Cynthia**

"I'm sorry!" mewoed StarKit I didn't men too!'

That's ok" sed blackStar. "no wons perfeck.""no that's not true." Said StarPaw, offed. "StarClan is.""Waht do you mena?" wemed BlackStar.

"well the give us all this halpand stuff" said Starpaw. "without them we wold be lust." She said.  
**Cynthia: I think there is no Starclan at this point. I mean, Firestar and Graystripe are abandoning their mates. It's crazy!  
Jade: Umm Starclans not just one person/cat annnnd the cats in Starclan aren't perfect either, Bluestar took a mate in Riverclan, Yellowfang became a warrior but had a mate and kits, Hawkheart killed Moonflower, Pinestar became a ****kittypet...etc.**

"I gess that's ter " balkcStar said, "besid I didn't relly mean that neway.

"o really why?" said starpaw. "becus yo are."  
**Cynthia: I will spin yo ass into unconsciousness. (creds to Olivia, my friend XD)  
Jade: Balkcstar... ROFL**

'WHAT' YOWLED sTarpaw jumping away BlackkStarTried to nugle her. "WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP ME?1?"  
**Cynthia: Mole straep? O_O Nugle?  
Jade: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

"e—" BlakStar started too expaln, but, StarPw wass to quick  
**Cynthia: Was he about to say elephant? ewe? ._.  
Jade: No he was about to say EW YOUR A KIT FROM THUNDERCLAN! No...probably ****not **

"no" she Sid "I don't doned another tom after me!" "I got enog porbelms arigt now anywy!  
**Cynthia: Who the hell is Sid?  
JADE: OMG SID FROM ICE AGE :DDDDDD**

"but yor pahfect." Said Blackstar. "you betted me in badle you HAVE TO BE "

"NO!" shitted SarPaw Again runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!"  
**Cynthia: Apparently cats can sh*t words now.  
Jade: pttffff SHE SHITTED AGAIN! **


	7. Cuming --

Chapter Six Desions,  
STUP GLAMING!11! IF YOU'R AN FLAM,E YOUR A STNITS AND WIL BUN IN HEIKL!  
**Cynthia: THANKS I WILL OR I WON'T  
JADE: Nope won't stawp glamming *dances***

LASTEST TIEM ON STARKITS PROPEHY:;  
**Cynthia: ...to be continued...  
Jade: THERES MORE OF **

"NO!" shitted SarPaw Again runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!"

Afert tat StrPaw walkde thru the frost. She wus so depresedded! Hu was seh sapost to pik?/?/ Then she saw JayFethre cumin thru the forst tords her.  
**Cynthia: That is unscenely. You're a father.  
Jade: SHE SAW JAYFEATHER WHAT?! CUMMING PTTFF HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH rofl **

"JayFeathr im soooo confusedd wat do i do she yelled their are three toms atref me! TREEE!"!

**Cynthia: There's a tree after you. Good.  
Jade: tree is the new three**

i know" sed jayFethr he locked happy. "thats good four you it menzz that p[eo[le like uo. he told he smilling.

"NO NUT I LUV ALL OF THEM" sed StarPaw back waling upst. "I DON'T KNO WHO TO [ICK!1!1"

"wel ten let me tel yo a stor.y said JayFeathern and he sat don. Onceu pon a tiem there were afew cats that I licked."  
**Cynthia: Ew.  
Jade: ... JAYFEATHER, THATS AGAINST THE MEDICINE CAT CODE! **

"hu where they sad StarPaw snifing.

"theyre names were DawnSpark;e and... Stick/ saud JayFeather

"OMG STICK wispred StarPaw "YOU WHERE IN LUV WITH A STICK? She culdnt belief it. After al this tim she finds out that her fathe loved a sTICK. SHE GAPD IN SHOC.

"Wat did you do? she esked thoug cuase she was crios.

Wel I culdn have kids with a stcik now culd i?" said JayPaw and he locked confuded. LIKE HE DIDN;T EVN KNO SHE WAS GNNA ASK THt qestn.

"sO YOU WENT WITH DAWNSPARKLE INSTD! YELLED STARpaw locking vry happi. "but that doesn;t help me what am I spost to do?/?  
**Cynthia: Jayfeather *groan* You're mad. completely bonkers.  
Jade: Insane. He did not love the stick, he just felt some 'connection' with it **

"Folo youre hart said Jayfeahr. "Who do yo want to be wit/"

Hmm StarPaw taught for a secund. FireStar!" she yelldd and then run of to tel him that she ;oved him  
**Cynthia: Shoot, I thought following your heart was more complicated than that.  
Jade: hmph, last time someone was told to follow their heart was Leafpool, and look what happened to that -.-**

NO FLAMSE!1!12!1  
**Cynthia: #burn  
Jade: AND I SET FIIIIIIIIRE TO THE RAAAAAAAIN :)**


	8. Firestar goes mad

Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1  
**Cynthia: Chapter Ate the Serimmony. Also, 1.  
****Jade: What did the chapter eat?**  
STOP REVOFIGN BAD! but than u JASZpAW for tehh godo revewis uve ben levying  
**Cynthia: Jazzpaw, I give you respect for putting up with her.  
Jade: whats revofign? **

StarPaw skided into de Camp. "FIRSTAR" SHE YOWLED "I ha to tel; uo somesting?"

"nut ow StarOaw" he sadi "yuve gut to become WARRIOR!'

"MOGOSH REALLY creamed StarPaw.  
**Cynthia: sigh  
Jade: Creamed. pttfff HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

YEAH SAID firestar "Youv been a war for onll 3.14 dayss butt u are the best apent ice in the cAlan. Ur perfect. We ndd you to help dfeat BlackStar and ShadowclaN. And all teh other calns. Tehy are tyring 2 attack us were in the meddle of a warr. "

**Cynthia: Pi days.  
Jade: Whoa, we're doing an area of a circle? **

"omgosh WE ARE?" scremmed StarPal she sus so surpissed!

"Ya DustPelt did while U were away in your walk Rivrclan attacked us." Said SandTrom. She locked sortaf sad she New FireStart lovved Stargleam. But it wass ok she newt wht wus best.  
**Cynthia: No Sandstorm. Kill Stargleam. Come on. You're a way better cat than she is.  
Jade: YEAH! LISTEN TO CYNTHIA**

"OMGoht" sid StarPaw. "Quickk mack me a warrror!"

"Oak" said Firestar. He wlaked up to StarPaw. "aLL Cats Gather Round Who Are Older To Cach There One Prey!"  
**Cynthia: ALL CATS OLD ENOUGH TO GATHER THEIR OWN PREY GATHER FOR A CLAN MEETING OMG FIRESTAR STOP BEING A FOOL.  
Jade: Apprentices cannot choose when to be a warrior**

"Tday we are making a new Warrior."

The calnn GASPED!  
**Cynthia: Thanks for putting GASPED in caps.  
Jade: Well then, GASP! **

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They all new infancy it was she whom was beng mad a warrior.

Starpaw was so exited! She'd never bin so hap inner life!

"StarPaw….." said FirePaw. He was simile like shed never sent him simle behfore. "Are you ready to become a Warrior in the Name of Starcaln?:"

"Yes!" she shock3d.

"oak." Eh sad. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme. From now on, you will be none as StarPaw for your pel which sings like the starss and ur conectin 2 StarClann. We onner you'r bravvery and" " kindness."  
**Cynthia: Firestar, you're drunk. Go home.  
Jade: Kindness? Wait, WHATS HER WARRIOR NAME?**

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They

StarGleam girned. She wass a Warrior! At least!"

"FireScar," she said, cuming over 2 him. "I wanna tell u somesing." They locked sirously at him.

**Cynthia: THEY? also, cuming.  
Jade: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAAHAHAHAHA **

"yeah wat is it?" he sad, hop shinning in his eayres.

Dos he knew? StarGlema think.

"Firestar…." She brethed. She cullednt she was actually dong this after so lung.  
**Cynthia: It wasn't even one day.  
Jade: Hey, Do you know theres a book called One Day...**

"I….."

WINDCLAN ATTAK! Shioted a voise from obove the Camp.

It was….

HOLYLEAF!  
**Cynthia: GO HOLLYLEAF! Or..HOLYLEAF! WHATEVER! YOU'RE THE BEST WARRIOR HERE!  
Jade: YAAY! REAL ACTION! GO HOLYLEAF! Why is she so holy?**

I workd reall' herd on dis chapter n tired 2 spell good so plzz review NICE!  
**Cynthia: Spell good with your elbows.  
Jade: I see, you've worked hard**


	9. NEIN HITLER

Chatter NEIN Teh Evil Tigger and holY  
**Cynthia: Starring: Tigger and Hitler. NEIN.  
Jade: French again?  
****Cynthia: No, German, ma chérie.**

I SAID NO FLAMES! YOUR JUST JELOS YOUR GOING 2 HEL LJESS IS OYUR SAVER  
**Cynthia: *rolls eyes* I KNOW.  
Jade: WAT?**

"Ohno its HolyLeaf!" yelled FireStra he ranned away. SandStrom wnet aftre him.

StarGlaem locked up. HolyLeaf was stnding their and their was anodder chat with hr.

"OMIGOSH ITS TIGGERSTAR!" she hossed. "WHTA WIL WE DO!"  
**Cynthia: damn.  
Jade: Oh noes**

"we figt." saud Jayfeathre and he ran at HollyLeaf. StarGlema washed as HolyLefa locked at JayFather and kiled him with one shot.  
**Cynthia: DAMN.  
Jade: Wow. She killed her own bro.**

"YOU KILDED MY FTHER! she yelled and she attcked HolyLeaf. HollyPaw gut out of the way and StarPaw attaked TiggerSar.

"U killed TigerStra!" uelled FiresStar he locked happy. "You are speshil!"  
**Cynthia: LOLNO it's Scourge.  
Jade: ...**

StarGleam was sooo happy, she didng notse as HollyLea grabbed Firestar and took him way.

"OH NO" yelled StarKit. "WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!

a cilf hunger1!111! see im a god riter i no what thta id thx f4r the good revweiws JzzPaw && everon else WHOSE NIT A FALMER  
**Cynthia: I wonder if Jazzpaw is lying through her teeth. Speaking of hunger, I'm hungry. You just ruined my appetite.  
Jade: CYNTHIA! IM HUNGRY TOO! Wait. I know how to cook bacon! CYNTHIA COME TO MY HOUSE TO EAT A BRUNCH :D**


	10. Charity For Lost Cats

Chapter Ten The Recluse  
**Cynthia: The Recluse?  
****Jade: Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUN**  
"EVERONE FALLOW ME" meowled StarPleam as see charred for th3 entranse to eh camp. Tares stremmed down her face1 she wuss so sad her fahter had deid her leader was gunn. "FLAMEPAW LAKEPAW DUSTPELT MOM LOINBLAZE FALLOW ME." She said. "I NEDD A PAROL."  
**Cynthia: Since when did anyone make you leader? and who's MOM? Ay, respect your elders. Please.  
Jade: Wow...DID I MISS SOMETHING HERE? DID BRAMBLECLAW DIE OR SOMETHING**

The run into the frost their pass working fastly. She wood kill HolyLeaf and TigerSar for what thed don!

She batlecried using his nose to tar down the evill cats. Her heat burneded!

Sune they had funded them. They were hidnig bwhind a bolder. "HAHAHAH" LAUGHED HOLylesf putting er claw on FiresTarS thort. "IVE GOT YOU KNOW!"  
**Cynthia: The Stargleam Charity for Lost Cats. Since 1999.  
Jade: HAHAHAHA SHE BATTLECRIED USING HER NOSE HAHAHAHAHAHA**

StarGleam gasped. "noooooo Fireheat!" she scemmed "FalmePawgo!" she said.  
**Cynthia: FALMPAWGO!  
Jade: FALMPAWGO! I CHOOSE YOU (pokemon) **

Flamepaw hurled at HolyLeaf. Hollyleaf laked at her in suprise. "What how could they have fallowd me." She dogged at Flamepaw her blue eys fallshig.

"NO FLAMEPAW" whaled LakePaw seing her sisters about too die. "I LOVE YOU FALMEPAW." She yowled jumping herself in front of HOlyLeaf.

HollyLaffs paw cutt into hir throt blood came out LakePaw felt down.

"NOOOO!1!11" StarPaw screamed. "FLAMEAPWWW!" She ran for HoltLeaf but it wass no us. LakPaw was dyeing. "I lofe you StarGleam." She wisperd before er blue I's cosed.

"NO WAKE UP LAKEPOOL" shoited Stargleam-she was so sad and depersed she was cyring!

"hahaha" laughed HollyLeaf evil. "u just dunt gedot d o you Im one of teh Tree! I have pows beyound ur emaginating!" nd then…. She turned in…. A BARE!

"Gasped" gasped everyone. It was a bare!  
**Cynthia: Dafuq. They said "gasped"?  
Jade: ERHMEGAWD ITS A BARE! :O**

"IM A SHAPSHITTER!" siad Hollylea joyly.  
**Cynthia: Dayum Hollyleaf you outdone yourself this time.  
****Jade: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH**  
"stargleam." Said FalmePaw cryingly. "I nedd to go back 2 the damp. I goat bury laekpaw. Ive neverbeen out of camp before how do you get back!"  
**Cynthia: The stupidest apprentice ever.  
****Jade: She's an apprentice but she's never been out of camp...WHATS WRONG WITH HER MENTOR**  
"U ju wak to te the est. said StarPaw."

Thaks said FlamePaw crying she piced up the LakePaw and putter on her back and run.

"nut so fast!" said Holyleaf! "Your not gunna get away that easly!" Wit a rar like an volcano erection she jumped at StarGlaem!

Everone! Gasped! "NOOOO." Yowled STarGleam as sumething lung and sarp pluned into her bk. "YOU CANT GET ME THAT EASLY."  
**Cynthia: I! Hate! This! Story! Gasp!  
Jade: "GASPED" gasped Jade XD  
Cynthia: LOLWUT**

Everyone jumped at the HoBare! The bare rared in pane! Starepaw sent her teeth into its for. It rared.  
**Cynthia: HOBARE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
Jade: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA**

"oak oka" HolyLeafthe bare said. "i no know Your not guna be bettin that esliay." Suddenly she was a cat1 then her body dropped her eyes went drka she was on the grund. Suddly ther wass howl from the other side of the froste. It was LaFlamePaw!  
**Cynthia: Since when does Hollyleaf say OKA OKA?  
Jade: LAFLAMEPAW! I CHOOOOOOSE YOU! **

"LAKEPAW UR BACK!" SHE SAD

WHT SAID SPARGLAME. Thenshe locked. It was LakePool! She was runnin tord the forest starGleam was so appy. Then she sawyer eyes.

THEY WERE OLLYLEAFS!

the next chatter wil coke soon! AND STUP FLAMMING YOU HAETRS. YOU JUST DONT BELVE IN GOOD.  
**Cynthia: I believe in good. This is not good. And I am not a hater. I just do what I do.  
Jade: OH good god. The chatter will COKE SOON! Im thirsty, anyone gawt sprite. (Other drinks are available) **


	11. Fighting Sitters

Catter 1 The Fiht Aganst the Sitters 1  
"Oh nose!" yellded StarPaw she wus so horrorifed. "LakePaool is buck and seh is NUT OKA!"  
**Cynthia: What happened to your nose?  
Jade: HEY! ONLY I SAY OH NOES**

"Of coarse im not okay!" LakeFall screchemd loadly she issed at StarGlame. "I'm being posesd by HolyLeaf wut do you THINK!" she yelddl and hulrd hesselv at StarPaw. StarGlme was so surpissed she culdn;t mofe  
**Cynthia: So being possessed, Lakefall was able to resist the words. She's even better than you, Star"gleam"  
Jade: ... She was surpissed. SHE PISSED OMG****  
**

Then... "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It was...  
**Cynthia: oolala...  
Jade: oolala CHA CHA CHAAAA**

REDPAW! Redpaw runnth over to StarPaw and jumped in font of herr and LakePolawm hit her insta.  
**Cynthia: I cometh and killeth you Stargleam. LakePolawm hit her instagram WHOOOOOO...  
Jade: LAKEPOLAWM LEMME FOLLLOW YOU ON INSTAAAA**

"Nuu Redpaw!" chked StarGlamea and she locked at RedPaw. "RedOaw are yu okayo?" she esked upsed. RedPaw cughed. "No im not but at leaat I sawed yuour lif! she sed and then he did. StarFlame locked at RedPaw she wus so buttifly then StarGleam shock her hud. "No Im STRREET!" she taught madly. "but now what do we dao agant LakePaw!" she lucked up. LakePaw was runnen toward Loinblzx and she was WIDESPED!  
**Cynthia: Widesped?  
Jade: I don't understand**

"NOWWWWWWW LIonHEAR!" wisprd StarGalem and she ran towed LionBlaze and she hit LakePaw, who did to.  
**Cynthia: Lionheart? HUH? You don't belong here.  
Jade: She hit lakepaw *thunk* Lionblaze: YES MADAMN, SHE'S OUT COLD  
Cynthia: Madame* But i think Madamn is funnier. Go on.**

"StarGlame I will get u for thiss11 sed LakePaw as SatinClaw drag away to hellClan. He waswerng oink naie Polish. then StarGlame stinted to crry as she realed that her sitter ass ded.  
**Cynthia: He was wearing pink nail polish. Also, sister's ass died.  
Jade: pttfff He sitter ass died HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA**

"you killd my Subjt!" HolyLeaf rared turng back in a bare. "Ilus get you for thi!" she saud and then she rudhed at StarPlame. "Oh o!" yelld every1 "tarPaw got our of the Way!"  
**Cynthia: Tarpaw is black.  
Jade: YOU KILLED MAI SUBJECT! & %^% !&&# *(#(! #* !(&# ^!%#$ !&%#% !^*#% !&#*( **

Tim semd to slow danw as StarPawlem run awy from the bare. But she ran left into... TIGGERSTAR!"  
**Cynthia: *whistles*  
Jade: OMG ITS TIGGER! in warriors **

"Fuhrstar! yellded a TiggerStraw. "You ar gong to did now!" And he held out... SOME JEW!  
**Cynthia: So I was right! Hitler is in here!  
Jade: HITLER. **

"Omg jyew!" elld FamePaw she locked at the yew. "But it wooden work becas thers a lizded on it." They all locked at the lizard. It wus a newt. The nwt ran away.  
**Cynthia: Is it a lizard or a newt?!  
Jade: i don't get it *cires* I DONT GET IT!**

"... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled FamePaw. "Now the yew is gunna wkr!

"Ete the yew!" sadi TiggerStar he thirst it at StarGlame StarGleam baked away. "You're never get moi to ete it!" she esked and then she held "YOUE NEVER TOOK ME ALIV!"

**Cynthia: Cela devient stupide. (this is getting stupid in french) well, french is in here. *shrugs*  
Jade: Je vous déteste cynthia pour me faire lire ce. (I hate you cynthia for making me read this)  
Cynthia: Je n'ai pas fait vous lisez ceci. Vous avez choisi d'. (I didn't make you. You chose to.)**

"are you so sur?" aksed TigerClar and then he lung at StarGlema and grabed her and ran away. "Youl never cathg me!1111 he laght meanly. "Im gong to Shadowcaln!" And then he luf.

Guyx I ben working relly hard on this wile I was gon. im sor'ry for the wait. Revew betetr and ill updat mor quick  
**Cynthia: Give up the hope, child.  
Jade: DON'T YOU WOOORY DONT YOU WOOORY CHIIILLLD! heh **


	12. Jade's Obsession with French --

Cahpter 12 The Sark Forest

"NO!" yewled StarKit. She run after TigerClaw. but he was to fat. She cudlnt catch up. Finly she stoped. She was so tried so sad, Teres begun to role down her face: her sitser was deed and tigerstar had ExcapeD!  
**Cynthia: Yewled. Yelled mixed with mewled. Also, Starkit is young again.  
Jade: Je suis tellement confus ( I am so confused)  
**

"y am I so ulsess?/?/' she dsked. "why couldnt i kill her?" "its not opur falt. Sadi a voice from bedide her. "WHAT WHOSE THEIR" SHE SAID JUMPED.

It juts me. " said JayWing waking to bedside her. "Yo couldt kill im becas u're nut dead." "what" said StarGleam "What dlo you men."

"hes in the Dakr Froset!" said JayFeather. "hess allready ded!" oh no what do I do thouth starGeam.

"we can go to teh Dark Forste but its ver danger." Mewled Jayfeater. "tack me their!" sad StarGleam.  
**Cynthia: IM CONFUSED  
Jade: Why is Jayfeather here?**

She slepped and then they were in the Fark Forest. It was dark. Here was no mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see. They herd voices! It wass TiggerStar!

"ok tjen well kell her ND invade Thundercaln" he was said. "WHAT NOO!" said StarPaw she jumped at him. she was aboot to hit him when BlackStripe was there! "TIGERSAR WATCH OUT" said BlackStrip. TierStar loocked at her and he clawed her. It wasnt fare!

StarGleam fell to the ground blood was cuming from a wand on her sholder. It was a lot of red blod. HawekFrost Looked at her. She was so buetiful so kawai, he was thought just like FirStar. He loved her. He had to save her.

He jumped in TiggerStar! He bit him! But it wa s to lat. StarPaw was dyeing. "it was turning balkc. "I love you seh said as she did.

AND THEN STARGLEAM WAS DIED!11!111!11111!1!11!

**Cynthia: THIS SHOULD BE THE END THEN...BUT..I SEE MORE...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Jade: YAAAAY! Wait CYNTHIA WHY ARE THERE MORE CHAPTERS ! tuez-moi maintenant (kill me now)**


	13. Lust in Starclan

Cahpter 13 The Metang wit Sartcaln  
"Omigish what happnd! shrekd StarPaw. She looked arung. "am I in Starclan?" she eskes when she say the cats that she new.

"No of cours not your in the Daek Forest!" gagged a gray he-cat. StarGlame locked around windly for TiggerStar but she culd;nt sea him. "Yes your in SatrCaln! said the she-ca. It was YellowFang. "Wher else wood you be?"  
**Cynthia: Was that sarcasm? Oh mai goodness.  
Jade: HEYYY FANGY! NICE YOU SEE YOU**

"Yuo dont need to be so red! said StarGlame she was mad."

sorry said YelllowFang but that made me made."

"its ok" said StarGleam. "but i was in the sark forest so...HOW DID I DYE?

**Cynthia: You got dipped into dye because you were a mat.  
Jade: BUT LOVING HIM WAS RED! THATS WHY SHE'S SO RED! **

"TigerStra killed you" said BlueeStar cumin over to her. "he can send cats to starcaln even from the drk Foret"  
**Cynthia: EVEN STARCLAN HAS LUST WHY  
Jade: je suis effrayé de lire ce qui est prévu ( I am scared to read what's next)**

"Wait so then I'm died?" StarGlame. "What do i do no? I cant safve the frost like this!"

"That why we aer gong to send you bak to Thnduer clan!" saud WhitStrip. "But we also have somsing very imptent to tell you first."

"Omg what is it" lauged StarPaw she stinted to jump up and down with joe." "I wnat to knew"

"wel their are ten thigs we ned to give you before you goe" said LeafPool and she gave StarGlame 2 rocks with writting on them. "their the ten commons!"

"OMG THE TEN COMMONDENTS" squelled StarGleam and she was so exited. "I GET TO HAVE TEN COMMNDMENTS?"  
**Cynthia: YOU DRAGGED THE BIBLE INTO THIS HOW COULD YOU *snarls*  
Jade: CYNTHIA CALM DOWN PLEASE  
Cynthia: NO! SHE DESERVES A BEHEADING! *yowls* GET HER!**

"Ya" said BleuStar "we need to give them to the calns but they wont liten. Thats why we nedd you to do it four us!"

"Okay" said StarGlame and she left Starclan talking the rocks with her.  
**Cynthia: They be talkin to rocks now.  
Jade: *Turns to a rock* bonjour, mon nom est jade, parlez-vous français (Hello, my name is jade, do you speak french)  
Cynthia: Stawppp**


	14. Caps

Chapter Fortene The Ten Commdaments  
Stargalme come down in2 thunderclaln camp. It was dark. Their were no cats otusdie. "SLL CATS GATER" she sadi. They cats gatehred. "I have Tebn Conmondants frum Starclam/" she said. The cats gapsed. The started to mummur. "be quite" starGleam sad. Tehy were quite.  
**Cynthia: They were quite annoyed.  
Jade: wait...so she's turning into jesus now?**

"here she said pushing th3 roks foreword. "Loack at the them. Yu must fallow these commodents fur your hole lifes if you wnt to ge5t into Starcan." She said. They loked at the roxk.  
**Cynthia: .-.  
Jade; NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO WE HAVE THE WARRIOR CODE! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT**

"1. thou shat not belive in other goIncesters  
**Cynthia: incesters?!**

2. Dont make any picturs of anyhing and warhip them. If ou do ai will punsch you an ur grankits.  
**Cynthia: *coughs* 'scuse me?  
****Jade: *spits sprite out* WHAT?**  
4. don't say Starcclan in vane.  
**Cynthia: OHMASTARCLAN  
****Jade: OMSC OMSC OMSC STARCLAN SAVE US! STARCLAAAAN STAARCLAAAAN CAN YOU HEAR MEE**  
5. Work for 6 days and worshipe me on 1.  
**Cynthia: You skipped 3. Nice counting.  
Jade: *slow claps* WHY DO WE NEED TO WORSHI{ YOU**

6. Repsect our mom and dad.  
**Cynthia: Do we all share a mom and dad?  
Jade: *shrugs* probably**

7. Dont kill otters unless in batl.e  
**Cynthia: I don't know why otters would want to be involved in this.  
Jade: DONT KILL ZE OTTERS ! **

8. don't br unfateful to our mat.  
**Cynthia: Course not, we step on them every day.  
Jade: pttff whaaaat. You just made Firestar cheat on Sandstorm you ungrateful mutt. **

9/ Dotn steel things from he other cland.  
**Cynthia: eh?  
Jade: NO! NO STEEEEEELING! **

10. Dnt lie aboot yiour nieborgh.  
**Cynthia: Aka the other clans, douchebags.  
Jade: THEY ARE NOT HUMANS! THEY DO NOT HAVE NEIGHBOURS! **

10. Don't be jelos og your neiborgh.  
**Cynthia: Why would they?  
Jade: I thought...WHAT?**

11. No BENG GAY!f  
**Cynthia: you did 10 twice and missed 3, so that was 11 rules in total. That was the worst f-ing counting.  
****Jade: about being lesbian? SEXIST! **  
The cat GAPSED. "Im sorry" said DaysPow. "ive ben a sinner. Ill do better next time!" Al the cats agred. StarPaw was happy! Teh were aon the write pat! If hey fallowed Sartclan thay woud neber go wong!

But suddenly she saw somesting! It was….. REdpaw and LakePaool KISSING  
**Cynthia: -_-#  
Jade: NONONONONO DONT LISTEN TO HER! DONT LISTEN TO HER! ne pas écouter son! ne pas écouter son!**


	15. The Announcer's Announcement

ohpter Fiften THE TURTH  
StarGlam marced ofer too RedPaw and LakePaw she looked angrily. "WhT DID I JUTS SAY?/" she esked. "The elfenth commonment is NO BEING GAY!11  
**Cynthia: Announcement: New commandment is the "elfenth" and is NO BEING GAY HEAR THAT NO BEING GAY, which is happy. You're even more crueler than Brokenstar.  
Jade: Wow. Just wow**

"But I love her!1" said LakePol.(a/n. EW!11 THIS IS DIGUSTING)  
**Cynthia: Then why'd you write it leh?  
Jade: EXACTLY! **

"But its agant the ten commdnents!" saud StarPaw. She wanet over and thurst herslef betwen them. "Do you WANT to go the dark foret?"

"Yes?" ansed RedPaw.

"No you dont" said StarGleam "it'sa relly horribld place." I kno, Ive been their!"  
**Cynthia: Redpaw is an idiot.  
Jade: Well, I rather go to the Dark forest than follow her 'ten ****commandment**' 

Were sory said RedPaw and lakePolw. They locked sadly. "We wont do it agan."

"I hope not" said StarGlame turng around and walkin back to FireStar. "We have to show this to the rets off the calns.

"ok said FireStar" "we should go to the Gathern."  
**Cynthia: It's not full moon yet.  
Jade: WHY IS FIRESTAR HERE?! I THOUGHT HE LEFT?!**

"If we go to the Gathern then I can shoe off the commendments to the other claans1" gagged StarGlame happ;y. "Cmon lets go!" She ran of not wating fro any other cat and then she was at the Gathern!  
**Cynthia: shoe off. also, gagging.  
Jade: Well, I'm gagging as well**

"ATENSION ALL CATS" she yelled lepping to the HighRock. ?"I NEDD YOU'RE ATTENSION I HAVE AN ANNOUNCER"

**Cynthia: The announcer is ME and I do not approve of this.  
JadeL I HAVE AN ANNOUNCER TOO! IT'S CYNTHIA! **

"Omg what is it!11!1" shocked MitsyFoot. "Is it imptent!"  
**Cynthia: Mitsyfoot. ah.  
Jade: MISTYFOOT! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO SUPPORT HER! **

"Yes of cors its imptent!111!1"! yellded StarGleam "or else I wuldnt be hear!" "I have the ten Commandmeonts and you need to kno what they ar!" She red the ten commons ot to the other calns and theny all bowed down to her. Thank you for teling use SarkGleam they said happly." "We sont sin again!"  
**Cynthia: NONE OF YOU SHOULD EVEN BE HERE ITS NOT THE FULL MOON YET.  
Jade: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONNONONOONONONONONONONONONONONOO THIS IS ALL WRONG!**

"God" said StarGleam she jumped form the HighRoke. She saw FireStar cumin threw the crowed towed jer. "StarGlame you are a much beter cat then me at this1 you should be letter. Im not deid so ill go join the eldlers insted!" he said and he tuched his noise to StarGleams. "You have to go to the MonStone today to go get your nien lives. Ill go with you and so will JayFather."  
**Cynthia: I'll need 2 ak-47s, please.  
Jade: Pass me one as ****well. **

"Kawaii" said StarGlema happly. They left the Gathern and all the cats were cherring for her,  
**Cynthia: ?  
Jade: *sighs***

So hod u guys lik eit? it wass so didsuting 2 rite the gya part. HBut thigs are guna be better no inteh clams! Also if ur a bad reveiwer u dont belive in Gosh ull go 2 hekc. thx guys for the god reveis. !  
**Cynthia: I believe in God not Gosh. Honestly, the vocab you have is terrible.  
Jade: Um...I'm not a christian so...that does not affect me...**


	16. Changing Names

Chaper Sixteen The Nane Lifes  
But suddenly as SatyrGleam was leafing theri was a nose from the bushs and Shadwclan spring out!2! their was TailPoppy LittleCold, RedStrom OwlPad SchorcWind (there from the Alliances I mad them warrior they don apear in the books) and CeaderGeart, and Twanypelt & RustFur, all of BlacStars bets warriors. StarGleams malting orange swammed with suprise. What ere they going t do? "StarGlaw" said Blackstar sadly. "U cant becomed leader then it will be inblossble for us to have kitsss!" jhe said.  
**Cynthia: So it's SatyrGleam now, part goat part cat. Who's StarGlaw? IM CONFUSED AGAIN.  
Jade: *cries* Je ne comprends pas! (I don't get it) **

"Ive got to do BlackSrar its my detsiny." You cant fihtg feat.'

"No!" he meowled. "I don't want to loose you!" "Its oky" sad FireHeart he was called that new sinch he wasnt ladder, he hadnt leafed yeat. "Ya" sad GaryStripe "we lofe her to"

"ok" sad BlackStar sadly. They wacked away. StarGlem was glad, she had anew love. Se didnot want 2 dell with this wright now.  
**Cynthia: Wacked away? WACKED AWAY? HUH? SHE NEEDS A DELL? WHAT?  
Jade: *gets rounder's bat* *whacks it against Stargleam's head* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

StarGleam mead LoinBalze her depudy he take the clkan back to camp. Her and JayFeather and FireStar walked to the MoonPool. "I cant belive it sadi StrGleam. "I can." Said JayFeater he was smelling StarPaw almots gasped shed never seen her father smiel befour! "Your a grate leddar StarGleam ive always none since the first day I saw yo."  
**Cynthia: The moment I saw yo I would have ripped yo ass into pieces.  
Jade: Sh*t She's still alive **

"Relly." She aksed. "Relay," he said. She smiled to for teh firts time in a log time she was really happy! Shed had someny toms chating after her but now this would be Oka!  
**Cynthia: OKA DEN  
Jade: ...**

They were closed to the MoonSnot now. StarGleam was startig to gut a litel nervis. Wha if starClan didnt like her?  
**Cynthia: Then go die. Please.  
Jade: HAHAHA MOONSNOT?! thats kinda disrespectful... ITS MOONPOOL STUPID**

They went ot the MoonPolo. It was a shinny; rotund poll. StarGlean had never sen enythin so buetifly inner life befor. "im so produ of you," said FireTar his gaze tinkling. StarGleap purSmiled and liked the warter.

**Cynthia: Excusemewhat Firestar's not a medicine cat why's he here. And the Moonpolo. Is this a mother f-ing game?  
Jade: Moonpolo. She does have a creative mind. why would you 'like' the water it thought it was lick... I just remembered..If Jayfeather was killed by HOLYLEAF then who's the medicine cat?**

It was dark! StarGel am opened erh eyes and she was in a froset. Then there weas lots of stars. 'like me' she thoguth lokoing at the star in her foreheed. Then they shinned brighter and there were cats! lost of cats and they were ver starry. Starclab!1!11!

"Are ou reedy" shouted on of them frob the front. "yes sad starKit whe was turbling with exitmente!  
**Cynthia: *gunshot* RUNNNNNNNNN!  
Jade: Oh gawd**

"ong of them came up. It was a blue cat. 'Bullstar' wispered StarGleam ahstruck. "With this live I gave you liedership said BleuStar puttinger noise to StarGleams. It hurtd! BlueStar wakled away StarGleam wandered ho muck more of this she cold tack it hurt so much she terbled.  
**Cynthia: ho muck boys. ho muck.  
Jade: BULLSTAR! ATTACK**

"With this life I give you corrage" said YellowFag storling up to StarPleam. It hurted like neddles!1  
**Cynthia: YELLOW FAG  
Jade: HEY! YELLOWFANG ISN'T A FAG! **

BambleCalw came nex. He put his mose on StarGleam's forehed. It hurt lick TiggerSTars class!  
**Cynthia: Mose. Also, Tiggerstar's class.  
Jade: HAS SHE BEEN TRAINING IN THE DARK FOREST? FIRESTAR BANISH HER! KILL HER! **

WithStorm stambled over next. "Woth this lift. I give you strenth. Us it well to pertect your clan."

**Cynthia: Withstorm?  
Jade: Disrespectful again. **

LeaveWind cam on to her. "Wit this life i give u nolledge." It hurt like fier!1  
**Cynthia: Leavewind?  
Jade: Who's Leavewind?**

She god a liff rom BundleFace form motherlinest a life from TailStar for qiickness, & a life for StoneFur for bravvery. She was shacking she didn nok if she cold mack it!  
**Cynthia: Bundleface? Tailstar?  
Jade: WHY IS SHE SO DISRESPECTFUL! **

And then… frorm the cord…. came…. A LINO!1!11!1  
**Cynthia: Cord? LINO? WHAT IN JOSEPHS DONUTS IS HAPPENING HERE?!  
Jade: LIMBOOOO WE ARE IN LIIMMBOOO! **

SatrGleam GASP! "This is ThunderStar" mowed TallStar. He was the first ledder of Thunerclan! OR it was called LoinClan."  
**Cynthia: Loinclan?  
Jade: Oh Loinclan, I thought I saw Coinclan Rofl**

StarPaw coudnt breath? She was so exited and so onered! "I cat beliv its relly you ThungerStar she said in ah. "Its meh" said the lion. He toched his mastiff nose to her nose and the pan was worst than ever befor! StarGleam thougth she would de! "With his life I give o HEAR. You have a realy strong heat bfour but is even stornger now, thank you for giving comandaments to the Calns. Wath would Starclan  
**Cynthia: Mastiff. Commandments. I'm out.  
Jade: *cries in a dark corner* **

doo witouth you Now I will giv you a namr."

"Wat!" shotud StarGleam ass he opened his moth. "I donk want my bame to be StarStar that would be stuped! I want to be called GleamStsr!"

"Fery well" said LionStar doping his head he wold lisent to StarGkeam she was specal. I now pronunce you….. GLEAMSTAR!'  
**Cynthia: DAMMIT LIONSTAR ARE YOU THAT STUPID  
Jade: IT'S NOT OUR PROBLEM YOUR MOM CALLED YOU STARKIT! **

Butt as the cats begun to cherr, there was a dankness! The darknest swolled everything! She could small BLODO! Suddenly TigerStar and HolyLeaf were there! In her vishon! She sa them tacking over the clans and ther was an arm of rogues and cats were deing! And suddenly … … their was a cat suruonded by a godlen lite!1!1! It was… HACKFROST! He made all the bad stuff disapare.  
**Cynthia: Only like..Hong Kong people know what this is.. but.. they cherred. They CHERRED. (btw, this is sort of like "booing")  
Jade: Hackfrost...HACK HACK HAAAACK**

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!1!1!11!" yelled StarGleamStar walking up. She juts culdnt be in loe with HawkForest she just could!11!1!11!  
**Cynthia: O.o She's a cow now?  
Jade: MOOOMOOO COW! **


	17. Love Decagons

Chapter 17 Returnr  
StarGleam shock her head waling up from the derm. FireStar was looking at her and his gren eys where sorrid. "GlaeStar you were takling in yuour slept are you ok?" he asked. JayFeather looked upsid to.  
**Cynthia: derm.  
Jade: I didn't I had F***ing NIGHTMARES ABOUT STAR-GLEAMSTAR**

"Yeah yeah Im fin" StarGleam reponded gettin up. "I just had a badd dream thass all." "It's nothen."  
**Cynthia: Bad dream? That was your nine lives!  
Jade: WOW! **

"If your sur." Said FireStrar and they left the MonoPool and headed back too the Thundercaln camp.

"GleamStar your back!" they said happy, crowding all over her. LakePaw and RedPaw looked sad thou, becas GleamStarg has sad they cant be in luv. But GleamSar ingored them. But she new she had too do somefing more impotent.  
**Cynthia: HOW DID THEY F-ING KNOW THAT GLEAMSTAR WAS CALLED GLEAMSTAR AND NOT STARSTAR?!  
Jade: i would be stupid and say STARSTAR YOUR BACK and then whack her with a stiff rabbit. Speaking of stiff DIVERGENT! 33 **

"LinoBlaz" she said locking for her deputy. "I nedd you to tack a patrole tothe Sadowclan boulder," "I need you ro tell BlackStar im leder know." she said and she turnd and walked over the keader's den evwn though everone was trying to ask her questns about the serimy. "Guysz let me to to bed" she said shoeing them awy. /"Let me have a niche to myself!"  
**Cynthia: You are the worst leader ever Gleamstar. Or, Starstar.  
Jade: Lionballz :3 **

They all walked away groabling. "She nevwr let's us have any fun" said BeryNoise. "Thats not kawaii at all."  
**Cynthia: I agree with you for once, horseplace cat.  
Jade: *nods* **

GleamStar didnlt care sge was waiting for FireStar. Then FireHert came into her den. "I'm levving" he said and he lef. StarGleam followed him uyelling "WAIT!1!11 Where are you gong?"  
**Cynthia: Huh?  
Jade: ...**

"Well I cant be ledder so I'm just goint to leaf for a while. Maybe Ill be a rogue, or maybe I'll go join skyCaln. Who knows?" Then he luf. StarGamet was sad b/c that was her mentor and one of the cats she luvved leaving but it was ka since thass what he wanted to due.  
**Cynthia: ...  
Jade: Ne pas le faire firestar! ne pas le faire! (Don't do it Firestar! Don't Do it!) **

"Its oka StarStar" said HawkFrot appearating out of nonwhere. "I mean I love you so its all god."  
**Cynthia: Hawkfrost, you got the name right. Your ideas are wrong.  
Jade: It's all god**

"I no" said StarGlea prring she wrapped her tail around HawkFrosts face she dint care that he was a rogue, she loved him. And now they could be togethier!/  
**Cynthia: This is like a love decagon. Please. And notice. Around his face? That's a mouthful of her "singing" fur.  
Jade: Didn't Bramblestar kill him?  
**


	18. Cramps

Chater Eitheen The Deat 11 11 1  
StarKit weak up shed been asleep. Their was ayoll from the capm! She run otides her den she junped of the HighRidge. "I gott to kill ou: somone sadi. It WA.S….. TIGEERSTAR!  
**Cynthia: Highledge* YOU'RE CLAN LEADER FOR FKS SAKE  
Jade: Highridge. Sure**

"Ttlu." Said HollyLefa meanly from his ides. GLEAM STAR welled "GET OUT OF THE CRAMP EVERYONE" she coldu hander it heself.  
**Cynthia: No one is in a clan.  
Jade: EVERYONE! OUT OF MY STOMACH! YOU'RE GIVING ME CRAMPS!**

"No" said BarkFall "we elov you somuch StarGleam we could'nt leafe u" NAD THE CATS FOUT!  
**Cynthia: it's yours, since you wrote this.  
Jade: Who the hell is Barkfall**

HolyKeaf turned into… a…. FUX! GlameStar surpised. She jopped! But it was too latte!1 The foz was an inc form her face when LinoBlaze apparetd! She clawed him They're was bold. "noooooo" said GleamStart. She was greif. Teras falled down her sparkling grey checks. The shoned like the sun on her spakling checks. Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani.. It was beutifly thohth HawkForts.  
**Cynthia: Fuxes don't exist.  
Jade: WHAT DOES THE FUX SAAAY **

"its oyak StarGleam." said LionBealz. "I doe for you. it makes me gay whit hapyness."  
**Cynthia: ...  
Jade: Beagle. Lionbeagle -.-**

"LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2" said StG;eamStar. gasp. was here clan bevoming quare. Bet b4 he colde awnser he ded!  
**Cynthia: YOURE AN IDIOT.  
Jade: *facepalm***

"NOOP" said GleamStar, "HE WAS MY BORTHERS FATHER I WILL AVENGE THOU." She said. She lapped at HolltLeaf! HollyFale lagged and run "its to lare" she meowled "lock behind u"  
**Cynthia: They lagged. In a game. Thou shalt not lag in Thunderclan.  
Jade: Shakespeare?**

StarGleam looked. TiggClaw was scratching DAWNSPAEKLE she run up the he cat clawd him he ran aya. "get pout of here Hacky-kin" she sad its too danheros" "iie" 9meanes no) said Hawkyfrost. "I lobe you my daer I wan't live you."  
**Cynthia: ?  
Jade: vats dis**

But the cats weer goin. Tiggerstar lagged sadly. "you mayt have defted ous this time," his said "but nest time well be STORNGER." Then he left. Then HolyLeag left. Then thuneer clan was saf!  
**Cynthia: -_-**

"since LionBleaze deid said Gleamstar I nedda new depudy. JazzPaw cum hear. JazzPaw came. "JazzPaw I want make you in warrior. So you can bw my depduey." JaszPaw smieled! She was so happ! "JazzPaw form now n youll be JazzSong. Also ur my depdy. Anyone have a problem with that?: she was mean bcase she was sad~ no the cats said obdenintley. They new he was sad. They ripsected it,, linblaze was her after all. besider mots of the cats thouhth StarG;eam was kawai when she was mad her eyes robbled. She and hawkFrost slept NOT LIKE THAT THERE NT MAKES THEY WOULD DO THAT YET DONT REMEMBER THE CMONDANTS?  
**Cynthia: Nope. There were 11. Too much for my brain.  
Jade: JAZZPAW CUM HERE! :3 *snickers***

Im sorr it tock so logn, but I think I did real god on hese chathers. I was tiered the last one was log  
**Cynthia: *trying very hard not to roll eyes*  
Jade: Someone give me a bucket *pukes***


	19. Weddings in Warriors

19 The Mirage 1!  
The nex mourni StarGleam wock up and HawkForost was still sleppin next to her. She dint wnat to ake him so she letf he then and went to look for a bunch of ctas to go on parolt.  
**Cynthia: paroit. Also, mourni.  
Jade: Cynthia, rappelez-moi encore pourquoi je fais ce (Cynthia, remind me again why i'm doing this)  
Cynthia: You wanted to, amigo.**

"JazzSong RedPaw LakePaw FlamePelt your all goint on a parolel to the Windyclna broader." She said and then she went back to her den to wake HawkGorest up she had to tell him sumthn.

**Cynthia: lel.  
Jade: Hawkgorest. Of course**

"HawkFrost lets get marred." She cok him up and locked at him expacently as he blined his amber eys.  
**Cynthia: Marred? What you going to do, attack each other?  
Jade: CATS CANT GET MARRIED IDIOT**

"Oh sweat that's a freat idea! he said." Sould we talthe claN?"  
**Cynthia: Ugh -.-  
Jade: No you shall not.**

"Yah thats whu I was wakcg you up." She left the den and HawkfOrst was folowig. "Let All Vats Older To Cath There On Pray Gather Hear Benth The High:edge For A Clan Mettin!  
**Cynthia: Thunderclan cats have better crap to do than to go to every single damn clan meeting that is about the leader ONLY and is not relevant.  
Jade: Vats. The new cats. ONLY USD 9.99  
Cynthia: Or mats.**

They all gathered even though Milloe was upset that BriadPaw had been hurt. (a/n i havent actually red Fading Eches yet but Ive heard that she gets hurt!1!1!1111")  
**Cynthia: Gleamstar is a dick to her clanmates.  
****Jade: But in the allegiances, she was already a warrior...Briarstorm**  
"HawkFrost and I are getting mriaged!" yelld StarPaw happ;y. Everone startwf crapping! They were soooo happly for StarGstar they new she nedded a mat.  
**Cynthia: Miraged. Also, they started crapping on the ground. Also, they need a new mat.  
Jade: *slow claps* **

"Do you knw what we shuld do?" called out BubPaw and StarGleam didn't want to listen to him because he was stpid (a/n just look at his narem how culd he NOT be stupd!1?1) but she was ledar so she decided to hurm him. "What is ist BubmFlit" she esked lokoking at the he cat.  
**Cynthia: Stargleam is again, a dick to her clan mates.  
Jade: Bubmflit. Brilliant**

"We should go annunce it at the Gathern!" he said and everony chered. They all aruged with him. So the Thhner caln cats left for the Gatherin. But when they got there... they saw... BullStar was dead! In his palsh was... FLAMESTAR!  
**Cynthia: Palsh. -  
Jade: oh shiat. Wait who's Bullstar and wasn't Flametail a medicine cat?**


	20. Swisscide

Chapter 19 The Nwe Love  
Stupid falmes! ur all satinsit1s! StarKesus is ur saver y cant u just eccept that. Also im not a torll!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty!  
Btw Jazz are you happy wih the last chpaetr? i no im promised u I wood mack you depduey  
gasped! 'What are ou doing her FireStar" she  
said.  
**Cynthia: Yeah, i'm convinced you're very petty. Jazz, you don't have to put up with this. I promise.  
Jade: Im confused. Wasn't it Flamestar?**

"I tock over ShaderClan" he said happly. "I went 2 there teratory n they fondu me there. The told me that BlakStar was deda he was so dpersed when you bcame ledar that he mocitted swisscide."  
**Cynthia: SWISSCIDE. KILL YOURSELF WITH SWISS CHEESE.  
Jade: ledar, ****Cheddar**

"OMIJISH BUT THASS A SIN" SIAD StarGleam.  
**Cynthia: IFHLBCDSPIOFHB SIDUJKFOUYISGEFBC SKHDNGF IYDHKSFGbhkxz  
Jade: *mumbles* you're a sin**

"i know rite." said FierStart "but he was so sad yo woudnet be his meat."  
**Cynthia: Cannibalism.  
Jade: O.O WAT. **

GleamStar was said for a mome. But then she rembered her and Hawkfrost-kun were geting marred! And she was happy again.  
**Cynthia: what's a kun?  
Jade: HAWKYFROSY 3**

She run towreds the HighOka a;; the cats wer catching her aw she past. They wanderd why she was even more readient then ussal today. It was  
bcause she is happy. HawkFirst throgut.  
**Cynthia: Radiant is the same as happy.  
Jade: HIGHOAK! **

"Cast of all clasn!" se yewled. "I have an nounce!"  
**Cynthia: This is only Thunderclan.  
Jade: huh? WHAAAT? **

"what is it ledder" they all said.

"HawkFrpst and me…are getting… MARTED!"  
**Cynthia: Pfft..What?  
Jade: WHAT IS IT LEADER?! SHE'S ONLY THUNDERCLAN's LEADER**

The clcats cherred in saw and happy! Some of them where said the enver got t2 be StarGleams mat but they wer happy anyways becas they lovved her and knw what was bet.

"let the marrige begin"

But bfore the marige cold happin… there was a nose! "I WANT HER TO B MY MATE" sdi a vice from Abobe!

"Starclan?" sad GleamSyar?

"No." said the vice. "its…THE DAK FROSET!"

And then therw ere clods!1111 It stared to rain! And..litening stroked! it hert StarFleam!  
**Cynthia: hmmmm  
Jade: I have no comment what so ever**

It hurt.

AND GLEAMSTAR CODLU FELL HETSELF DID!11!111!1!  
1!/  
**Cynthia: *sigh* again?  
Jade: SHE COULD FEEL HERSELF DO WHAT**

SHE wock up. Se was in the dark frost she rmebered. It was blak around. "blackstar" she siad wanderin if hed' wanted 2 see was blackStar a bad cat she wandered she didn't know if he wod o to teh Fark Firest!

She shaw a shap in the dirtence. "BackStar?" shse seda. "its meh starGleam

Then the cat torned arund. It was… ASSFyR!  
**Cynthia: WHAT?!  
Jade: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT WAS ASSFUR!**

Ashfir locked aht her. "gigle" he said "glemstar… ur beatiful….like SquireFlit…i wnted u…to be….my met?"

"NO9999999999999 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Gleam.

He looked sad. "what do u mena" he said.  
And then… was BROCKENSTAR?  
**Cynthia: oh my...tell me this is over...please...I can't..no... *struggles to breathe*  
Jade: *wheezes* **


	21. Buddhism

Chapter 20 STARCALN  
**Cynthia: No, 21.  
****Jade: STARCLAN!**  
"Oh no Broakcnstar!" yelled StarGleam mad;y I can;t be talkin to brokenStar!" And sheran away leaving AshFurt behin her. She run and ranned and runend and then se was at StarClan!"  
**Cynthia: You are.  
Jade: ...**

"Yay Im not at the dark Fort anymro1! she thought happly and then she wasked across the broard and then she was in Starclan!1

"Welcmon to Starcaln said YellowFangn she was stnding ther with LefPool, BrambleClan, SpottedLeaf and BakSrae.

"Blakstar yoyre not in the Dark FGort !" Gleamstar yelled hellpy, she didnt want him to be their she lovd him after all.

"Of course not" BlackStar relipe. "wy would i be their I mean I luv tou after tll2!"

"well thats tru" reoidned Gleamstar. "but I can't be in StarCan! Oalready came here once I cant do it agan!"

"well it looks like you haf. said BlueStar and she said "but we cant send you back to the calns again, this time it locks like we'll have to REINCART YOU."

"Omh Reincartion!" yelled StarGam "you mean like what haopned to CinderPaw?"  
**Cynthia: That's Buddhism. Talk about satanism.  
Jade: *meditates* **

"Yah" said CinderPelt comin yp to her "thast what happened t me I was reicnanrt." She Said.

"But it might be awhile" said SpottedPool "after all we have to figre out Ow were going do that firtsl} "go do somethinm elese"

"okay" siad GleamStar and she luf. She heard her namer being called and she turnd around and saw HawkForst standing over her body.

"StarPaw noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!" je yowle. "Starcaln how ould you od this to me!" "We were about to get marti.  
**Cynthia: Eh?  
Jade: 11111111111 **

"Im sorry Hawk Frost" said StarGleam "I'll be back soon I think"!

"Wat whose there?" HawkFrost looked around but hed idnt sieantyhing.

"Its me GleamStar" said GleamStra looking at him.

"I cant see yo" he said and he buped into a tree. Then he fele down.  
**Cynthia: Hawkfrost... *sigh*  
Jade: Typical Hawkfrost**

"bye HawkForst!" said StarGleam and she left cius she didn' want to see what would haben when her belocd HawkyForest wock up so she luf.

"hi their StarGlema" said a voice and GlemaGleam looked around. "Whose there!1!11!" she eked and it was... Falled leaf!1!111111!1!11111  
**Cynthia: Introducing a new cat in each chapter is stupid.  
Jade: eked. Falled leaf. *facepalm***


	22. Hashtags

Cahpter 12 The Sark Forest

"NO!" yewled StarKit. She run after TigerClaw. but he was to fat. She cudlnt catch up. Finly she stoped. She was so tried so sad, Teres begun to role down her face: her sitser was deed and tigerstar had ExcapeD!  
**Cynthia: Yewled. Yelled mixed with mewled. Also, Starkit is young again.  
Jade: Je suis tellement confus ( I am so confused)  
**

"y am I so ulsess?/?/' she dsked. "why couldnt i kill her?" "its not opur falt. Sadi a voice from bedide her. "WHAT WHOSE THEIR" SHE SAID JUMPED.

It juts me. " said JayWing waking to bedside her. "Yo couldt kill im becas u're nut dead." "what" said StarGleam "What dlo you men."

"hes in the Dakr Froset!" said JayFeather. "hess allready ded!" oh no what do I do thouth starGeam.

"we can go to teh Dark Forste but its ver danger." Mewled Jayfeater. "tack me their!" sad StarGleam.  
**Cynthia: IM CONFUSED  
Jade: Why is Jayfeather here?**

She slepped and then they were in the Fark Forest. It was dark. Here was no mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see. They herd voices! It wass TiggerStar!

"ok tjen well kell her ND invade Thundercaln" he was said. "WHAT NOO!" said StarPaw she jumped at him. she was aboot to hit him when BlackStripe was there! "TIGERSAR WATCH OUT" said BlackStrip. TierStar loocked at her and he clawed her. It wasnt fare!

StarGleam fell to the ground blood was cuming from a wand on her sholder. It was a lot of red blod. HawekFrost Looked at her. She was so buetiful so kawai, he was thought just like FirStar. He loved her. He had to save her.

He jumped in TiggerStar! He bit him! But it wa s to lat. StarPaw was dyeing. "it was turning balkc. "I love you seh said as she did.

AND THEN STARGLEAM WAS DIED!11!111!11111!1!11!

**Cynthia: THIS SHOULD BE THE END THEN...BUT..I SEE MORE...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Jade: YAAAAY! Wait CYNTHIA WHY ARE THERE MORE CHAPTERS ! tuez-moi maintenant (kill me now)**


	23. Starstar

Cahpter 13 The Metang wit Sartcaln  
"Omigish what happnd! shrekd StarPaw. She looked arung. "am I in Starclan?" she eskes when she say the cats that she new.

"No of cours not your in the Daek Forest!" gagged a gray he-cat. StarGlame locked around windly for TiggerStar but she culd;nt sea him. "Yes your in SatrCaln! said the she-ca. It was YellowFang. "Wher else wood you be?"  
**Cynthia: Was that sarcasm? Oh mai goodness.  
Jade: HEYYY FANGY! NICE YOU SEE YOU**

"Yuo dont need to be so red! said StarGlame she was mad."

sorry said YelllowFang but that made me made."

"its ok" said StarGleam. "but i was in the sark forest so...HOW DID I DYE?

**Cynthia: You got dipped into dye because you were a mat.  
Jade: BUT LOVING HIM WAS RED! THATS WHY SHE'S SO RED! **

"TigerStra killed you" said BlueeStar cumin over to her. "he can send cats to starcaln even from the drk Foret"  
**Cynthia: EVEN STARCLAN HAS LUST WHY  
Jade: je suis effrayé de lire ce qui est prévu ( I am scared to read what's next)**

"Wait so then I'm died?" StarGlame. "What do i do no? I cant safve the frost like this!"

"That why we aer gong to send you bak to Thnduer clan!" saud WhitStrip. "But we also have somsing very imptent to tell you first."

"Omg what is it" lauged StarPaw she stinted to jump up and down with joe." "I wnat to knew"

"wel their are ten thigs we ned to give you before you goe" said LeafPool and she gave StarGlame 2 rocks with writting on them. "their the ten commons!"

"OMG THE TEN COMMONDENTS" squelled StarGleam and she was so exited. "I GET TO HAVE TEN COMMNDMENTS?"  
**Cynthia: YOU DRAGGED THE BIBLE INTO THIS HOW COULD YOU *snarls*  
Jade: CYNTHIA CALM DOWN PLEASE  
Cynthia: NO! SHE DESERVES A BEHEADING! *yowls* GET HER!**

"Ya" said BleuStar "we need to give them to the calns but they wont liten. Thats why we nedd you to do it four us!"

"Okay" said StarGlame and she left Starclan talking the rocks with her.  
**Cynthia: They be talkin to rocks now.  
Jade: *Turns to a rock* bonjour, mon nom est jade, parlez-vous français (Hello, my name is jade, do you speak french)  
Cynthia: Stawppp**


	24. Carp

Chapter Fortene The Ten Commdaments  
Stargalme come down in2 thunderclaln camp. It was dark. Their were no cats otusdie. "SLL CATS GATER" she sadi. They cats gatehred. "I have Tebn Conmondants frum Starclam/" she said. The cats gapsed. The started to mummur. "be quite" starGleam sad. Tehy were quite.  
**Cynthia: They were quite annoyed.  
Jade: wait...so she's turning into jesus now?**

"here she said pushing th3 roks foreword. "Loack at the them. Yu must fallow these commodents fur your hole lifes if you wnt to ge5t into Starcan." She said. They loked at the roxk.  
**Cynthia: .-.  
Jade; NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO WE HAVE THE WARRIOR CODE! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT**

"1. thou shat not belive in other goIncesters  
**Cynthia: incesters?!**

2. Dont make any picturs of anyhing and warhip them. If ou do ai will punsch you an ur grankits.  
**Cynthia: *coughs* 'scuse me?  
****Jade: *spits sprite out* WHAT?**  
4. don't say Starcclan in vane.  
**Cynthia: OHMASTARCLAN  
****Jade: OMSC OMSC OMSC STARCLAN SAVE US! STARCLAAAAN STAARCLAAAAN CAN YOU HEAR MEE**  
5. Work for 6 days and worshipe me on 1.  
**Cynthia: You skipped 3. Nice counting.  
Jade: *slow claps* WHY DO WE NEED TO WORSHI{ YOU**

6. Repsect our mom and dad.  
**Cynthia: Do we all share a mom and dad?  
Jade: *shrugs* probably**

7. Dont kill otters unless in batl.e  
**Cynthia: I don't know why otters would want to be involved in this.  
Jade: DONT KILL ZE OTTERS ! **

8. don't br unfateful to our mat.  
**Cynthia: Course not, we step on them every day.  
Jade: pttff whaaaat. You just made Firestar cheat on Sandstorm you ungrateful mutt. **

9/ Dotn steel things from he other cland.  
**Cynthia: eh?  
Jade: NO! NO STEEEEEELING! **

10. Dnt lie aboot yiour nieborgh.  
**Cynthia: Aka the other clans, douchebags.  
Jade: THEY ARE NOT HUMANS! THEY DO NOT HAVE NEIGHBOURS! **

10. Don't be jelos og your neiborgh.  
**Cynthia: Why would they?  
Jade: I thought...WHAT?**

11. No BENG GAY!f  
**Cynthia: you did 10 twice and missed 3, so that was 11 rules in total. That was the worst f-ing counting.  
****Jade: about being lesbian? SEXIST! **  
The cat GAPSED. "Im sorry" said DaysPow. "ive ben a sinner. Ill do better next time!" Al the cats agred. StarPaw was happy! Teh were aon the write pat! If hey fallowed Sartclan thay woud neber go wong!

But suddenly she saw somesting! It was….. REdpaw and LakePaool KISSING  
**Cynthia: -_-#  
Jade: NONONONONO DONT LISTEN TO HER! DONT LISTEN TO HER! ne pas écouter son! ne pas écouter son!**


	25. PlebeiansCommoners

Chaphtrt 22 LEBIANS 1 111  
StarKit dind know why eh was so upest, but she new that it was NOT A GOD THINGG for there to be LESBIA.  
**Cynthia: Who gave you permission to drag lesbians into this?  
Jade: *cries* IM SO CONFUSED! WHAT IS FANTASY AND WHAT IS REALITY **

"Whats wrong StarGleam" asked RedPaw as she kised LakePaw ON THE LISP! "Your just a it why do you not like that ides  
**Cynthia: Yeah Starkit, you're just an "it".  
Jade: On the lisp. *nods* of course**

"Becuse being lesbna is WONG! StarKti yelled back. "Its against the BibTen Comandamnt."

"How would you know of the ten commandnts " akxed LekePaw "you werf here for that."  
**Cynthia: That's what I'm sayin'!  
Jade: My question is: WHY ARE THERE EVEN 10 COMMANDANTS IN THE FIRST**

"I know" said StarKkit thuning "but I somehow now aboot it."

LakePaol shruged she didnt know how to responing. "Well the ten comadnt sarent' real" she said "so me and RedFur think its oka."  
**Cynthia: *sigh*  
Jade: YES! I FOLLOW THOSE REBELS! **

"Come backc to the nursey with us" saud RedPFur "your too youg to be out of the nurseyr for log."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!111!1!" yelled SarPaw she refused to et herself be expod to the LESBITS!1!1!11!"

Se ran out into the frost. AssKit folowed her. "Whats wrong StarStar" she asked "why are you so upset!"

"I'm beng rased by PLEBEIANS!" StarKite yeled back. "WHAT DO YOU THINK IS WRONG/"  
**Cynthia: Well, at least you're being raised by commoners.  
Jade: ...**

"well come over her" said AshFit "maybe we can make them see the ligt.

"giggle" siad SatrKit but whe went ofer to AshFur.  
**Cynthia: *raises eyebrows*  
Jade: "giggle" said Jade *sighs***

But then a cat was coing throug the tress! It was... JazzSong!

"JazzPaw what are you dong here!1!1"! asked Starkit.

"It's JazzStar dint you hear I got mad letter after StarGleam died." "It was a sad deth."

"who is StarGlaem" asked StarGleam she new the nam sounded family but she didnt know WHAT IT WAS.

"it doest mater" sud JazzSong lets go back to the camp."  
**Cynthia: Yeah, it doesn't matter. A better cat is leader now.  
Jade: Very good, Very good**

"Yay" said AshFurtk happly. They went back to the damp.

"No go see RedPaw and lakePaw" said JaszStar "I now they'e wating for yo."

"finefine" saud StarKit but im not going to like it!

SIX MOONS LATER

"StarKit from this day forwrd you will be NONE AS STARPAW!11!1"! sayd JazzSong. Then clan cheerid happily.

"Your mwneot will be" saiud JazzSeng.  
**Cynthia: Who?  
Jade: your mentor will be who..?**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!111!111!" YELLED STARFLEM!1!111!111  
**Cynthia: -.-  
Jade: umm AWKWARD! **


	26. Time to ask questions

Chapter 25 The Ask Qestion  
**Cynthia: The Ask Question?  
****Jade: YAY LETS ASK QUESTIONS! I have LOADS**  
NO NOT HAWKFROST THOUGTH STARLGEAM. SHE DIDNT KNO WWHY BUT SHE DIDT WAT HIM TO BE HER MEMTOR.

"hi GleamKit" said HawkFrots walking over to here. He raped his tail aroond her sholders. "want to tran with me tommorwo?" "Okay," said Starkpaw.  
**Cynthia: Nobody warned me Tony Stark was going to be here.  
Jade" He raped his tail. Seems legit. **

She went to AsgKit. "Hi she said." "Hi." He said. "Hi." She rippled. "do you want to fo huntibg with me desu ka?" he said. "Ok" sie said.  
**Cynthia: She rippled. She RIPPLED.  
jade: Desu ka? Indian dish?**

I walked outof the forest wtih AshFir. WE wente into the froste to hunt. He keept loocking at StarGleam. She wandered y. Then he said: "StarPaw… I was wanted know….. if you… owuld be my Mat?"""""? he said.  
**Cynthia: Sure! I'm only $7.99, LIMITED EDITION AT WALMART!  
Jade: I THOUGHT HE LOVED GLEAMSTAR! HE CHEATED ON HER! **

"ONGOSH YESSSASSSSS SAID STARPaw cause she didn"t nemember ho he was. Fi shed remembered she wound have said YES. And then… from the buddhes…. CAME hackforst.

"What are you inncolent fools doing?" said HawkFrost. "Shes my mate now." Said AshPaw. "NO WAY?" said HaekFrost. "I want her to b my matt!" Ands then the FOUTH! There was lost of blod. Stargleam cryed! It weas so scaray! "sto" she said but even she coldnt make them lestin.  
**Cynthia: Are you trying to say innocent, incoherent, or inclement?  
Jade: Who lost blood?**

And thenm suddenly…. THEY WEREK ISSING! "NOOO WHAT ARE YOUS DOING?" SAID GLEAMSTARKIT. THEY WERE BING GAY! And she ran in the forest!1!2!  
**Cynthia: So...hmmm fill in the blanks. _issing. I think it's either missing or pissing. Your choice. Gleamstarkit is messed up.  
Jade: I thought they were lesbians?**

jeuss doesent lick people who flmale!  
**Cynthia: Jesus doesn't lick at all.  
Jade: Lick *thinks of ice creams* mmmm****  
**


	27. New Clan?

Chapter 27 A NEW CALN?  
StarKit ran and ran and run until she got back to the capm and then RedFur was ther waitng for her!11!  
**Cynthia: Huh?  
Jade: Im running. **

"OMIGOSN NO!" reploned StarPa "I CAN;T TALK TO YOU RITE NOW" and she un into the appenticed den. "I CANT LET MUSELF BE SEEN WITH A LESBIAN!1!1!1"

"Ad why not" aked RedPaw marcing ofer to StarGkem "I men weave ben rassing you for mons now!"  
**Cynthia: Harassing?  
Jade: *bursts out laughing***

"I NO" fried StarGKit "But I just saw HawkForst and AshFuru...and they were... KISING!" She was repued as she said that she couldn;t stand the idaw of HAWKFROST KISTING A GUY!"  
**Cynthia: Apparently there's a new addition: Cats can fry words now.  
****Jade: Alright then.**  
"Well thats erfecty fine isnt it?" asked LakwPool coming into the den/ "I mean were gay and there snothing wrong with that!"

"YES THEIR IS"! yelld Starpaw in angry and she RAN FROM THE DEN AND BACK OUT INTO THE FROST

BUT THEN SHE RAN INTO HAWKFORT AND ASHTKI AGAN!11111111!111!1111"

"YOU! CANT! BE! GAY!" she told them (a/n I NEEDED EXTRA EMPHAS BECUSE I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO RITE IT!) but they DIDNT MOVES THEY JUST CONTINUED TO MACK OUR!  
**Cynthia: How about "Her belly filled with rage, and for that moment, she wanted to slash their guts apart until they yowled as loud as they could in pain, but the warrior code/10 commandments -_- didn't allow it. She roared. "You will not be gay under my leadership!" Then she couldn't hold it back. She lunged at them."  
**

**Jade: Nice**

"WHY DONT YOU JUST LEAF" she asked quitely "I MEAN YOUR NOT EXCEPT IN THIS CALN OF MINE!111!"

"IT'S NOT YOUR CALN!" HAWKFORST YELLED ITS EVERYBODYS CALN"  
**Cynthia: How about "'If you continue to do this, leave!' she snarled. 'I do not welcome gay fox dung in this clan.' she spat. "I am leader and my word is law. LEAVE. NOW.' Stargleam/Gleamstar/Starstar ordered, her claws sliding out." Hey, I'm actually enjoying correcting this.  
Jade: Nice Job Cynthia! **

"YEAH WELL YOUR GAY!11111!" SAID STARKIT.

"FINE" said Hawkforst and he Left With AshFur! "WE'LL GO BE ROGUES."

"GET OUT OF MY CALN"

So they lef. Then StarKit realized SHE HAD JUST BANISHED HER MENTO.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1111111!11  
**Cynthia: ...  
Jade: LOL**


	28. Confusion

Chapter 27 the Mameries  
stpo flameing! whats rworng wth i dont you knowe a good stoary when uk see one? :(((  
**Cynthia: No, but I know a bad story when I see one. And this is a bad story.  
Jade: ooh UK :D THATS WHERE I'M partly FROM! XD **

StarPaw wondered threw the forst madly. She was anger.y. She lokked it was FlamaPelt! "FalmePelt help me she said yor a good steret cat what do you?' "lol i don know do wahat your heart says." She liked over to her mte NightRain. His blue eyes sparkeld shoningly into her wired eyes thier was one blue won green she was straet not like LakeP. "But dos it really mater? i mean im by so it realy doesnot btw i heard there makicng Satinclan."  
**Cynthia: Satanclan? Why?!  
Jade: Good Street cat? I thought they were in a clan, not the streets.**

"what noooOOOOOOOOOOO" siad STarKit and NightStorm at eh same time. "NO YOU CANT BE BY FLAMEPETLE NOOOOOO ITS AGANST THE COMONDMENTS" nightrain looked afast!  
**Cynthia: The 10 commandments don't even belong in here.  
Jade: who's Nightrain? **

"so who cares! said FlamePaw definsively. "We." said NigthRAin and GleamPaw. "Why." she said. "because its bed." they said.

"well watever Im going to g join SaitnClan cuase im evil now by" said FlamePelt and she was gone.  
**Cynthia: LOLNOOB since when would a cat admit they were evil?  
Jade: HA HA HA. no not funny**

"?" said StarPaw beuatifully.  
**Cynthia: What did she say? "Huh?" "What?" "Question mark?" "Random hook with a dot under it"?  
Jade: "Question mark." said Jade BEAUTIFULLY. *bursts out ****laughing* **

"I DONK NKOOOW" SAId RAINspolash. And he rain off.

StawPaw was so sad that tears started to rall down her feca. Why nust her famly be so gya. she wandred. She walked and went until her was at the clering. "This is were we meat." she tough sadly thinking of HawkfRost.

And... then she looked at the tree!111!1!11! it was the same tree HawkGrost had hit put his into lookig for her!1!1!1! AND AL OF THE SUDDEN SHE REMEBERED!31!  
verythinga bout hawkfrost and FirwStar and all the oms who lobed her and the propecy and the forest!

"~!11!11!1!1!11!1!11!1!1!1!11!1!1!11!111111" said TarGleam.  
**Cynthia: PPPFPFFWAT?  
Jade: THIS. IS. WHERE. WE. MEAT! **


	29. WE'RE RUNNING AWAY!

Chapter 28 Shrakking  
okay guy I know its een a wile sinse my last chapta, but no I have somethin to say on th subgect! a few weks ago, jazzy intoduce me to something calld SLASH. At firt I didnt liek it so much but then since I new it exited and since i puberty I finaly admtted to myslef that I was...A LESBIAN!1!1!1111 I men i didnt want to admit it first but ten i realizd that its not god to hide my felings. I men I now i usd to be a homophone but evn thoh im not hapy about having to kno this i know its for the bet. I was awy for soooo log becuase i had to realse tat and aslo i was potsging on the OFICAL FORM. but everone their is a stanist!1!1111!1! so i letf. and btw i cnat bleive those stupid at dleteed my sotyr!111! :((((( there so mean i mean wat did i do to derseve this? But anywa here is the chapte.

**Cynthia: You...went..through..puberty? HOW OLD ARE YOU? blahblahblah lesbian...WHAT? LESBIAN? SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT DAMN JADE RUNNNNN IM SORRY FOR THE LANGUAGE BUT SHITTTTTTTTTTTT**

**Jade: DAAMN IM RUNNING CYNTHIA! I'M RUNNING! *runs* **

Now that she remebred StarPaw ran ack to the camp with anew goll. She wanted to tll evyrbody who she RELLY WAS. Sh got bck ther and past RedPaw and lakePool on there way otu.

"Wher are you gong?" StarPaw questin.

"Were going to Stainclan" repelled RedPaw.

"But why?" sekd StarPaw. "Bein gay isnt a sin anymro!" She whaled afte rhtem.  
**Cynthia: Note: it was when the author was lesbian.  
Jade: *nods***

"it isn't said LakePaw but you said it was!"

"I kno" saed StarApw "But ive found out abut SLASH. Infact I've relaed that I LOVE JAZZPA.E."  
**Cynthia: WHAT THE F?  
Jade: JAZZYPIE! Hey thats what I call my sister (She's Called Jasmine) **

"omg relly?" esked RedFur cause she culdtny belief it. "but were still gong to Stinclan, becase wer also ATHIET"."

"NO." StarPaw muttered. "you cant goo! Satinclan is not the place for you. I shuld proly go and call hawkFrost and AshFit back beause they can be ga nwo! Oh and FlamePelt can come back to.  
**Cynthia: muttering used in the wrong place.  
Jade: NO! NO OMG! THEY DONT BELIEVE IN GOD! THEY BELIEVE IN STARCLAN! **

"We;l go tel them" saidRedufr and she left with LakePaw. The StaRgleam wen back to tamp and wen she got thair she jumped o the HighLedRock.  
**Cynthia: HD LED Rock. Only $242.66 in Walmart.  
Jade: That sounds awesome, I want one**

"ATTENSION ALL CATA OF THUNDERCLAN  
SHE YELeld I HAVE AN ANOUCNEMTN.

The cats . "What is it StarSpaw theu asked

"I HAVE A CONFESSN" SHE YELLD "I...AM...STARSTAR!11!11!111111111!"  
**Cynthia: Isn't it the fact that she's lesbian?  
Jade: I thought she was Gleamstar because Starstar sounded wrong. It still does. **


	30. Unexpected Twists

Chapter 30 The Revvel!  
OMGOSH I CNAT BLEIFE THAT HIS HAS ONLY BEEN UP FOR A DAY AND YORU ALREDDY FMALING!1!11!1! :( STOP! JUSES MIGHT LIKE GAT PPPL NOW BUT THAT DOENT MEAN EH LIKKS FLAMMERS  
**Cynthia: So now you're just changing your mind.  
****Jade: *yawns* Wake me up when this is over**  
"Are you" said BrakenFur.

"WHY WONT QNYONE BELIVE ME" said starGleam and she ran uot of the cmap.  
**Cynthia: Just because a cat says "are you" doesn't mean he doesn't believe you.  
Jade: But they have a right to question you because how would they know, i mean you just DIED. **

angry!

HOW cloud BrakinFor noy belivfe her after!11!11 And atfer averythign she done as a amaxing kit!She went to Satinclam and it wsa in a clerring just past the thunderclan boarder. She saw all the catd who were in Satnclan and there were….. CXLOUDTAIL AND MOUTHWING!11!1!11!1111

"LakePaw and RedFur dd you tell FlameOelt and NightRani that they couls come back now?" said Stargleam?

"no were all stlill athletes" StarGleam was bout to go home when realized soethinf. There cats were crepping towerd her!11!1!  
**Cynthia: not once have they been shown hunting or fighting.  
****Jade: ATHLETES? *faints***  
"What are youo doing!1!" said she. SatinClaw wallked up to her now he was earing purple nail pollish and three was a blackk stirpe on his head. "We cnat' let you left Stargleam he said. you know to muchgt."

HOlyLeaf kumped out form the shadows and turhned into a BOBCAT!1!1!

Bubcat HullyLeaf ran at StarGleam! She hit StarGleam!1!1 Satinclaw came up 2 and hestared to claw her.  
**Cynthia: Damn, Bobcat. GO BOBCATS!  
Jade: ooooh whats a bobcat doing here. IM TEAM BOBCAT! **

But when thet clawed her stomich somtehgn inside of StarGleam hurted!1!1!1!11! IT WAS A KIT111! STARGLEAM COULD FELL HER KITS PAN!

she was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, PREGGANT.

"IIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE !1!" SIAD STARGLEAM.  
**Cynthia: what?  
Jade: ... Unexpected twist. **

AUTHROS NTOE OMG JAZZY POSTED THIS CHPTAE WITHOU T ME SAYIGN SHE OULCD. IM SORRY I DIDNT GET TO ETID TI MROE! I DIDNT KNOW JAZZ COULD USE MY COUTN


	31. Silverstream and Sparkles

Chapter 23 The Vist  
SatrPaw rnan away she aws tears weire sterawming down her nick. WHY WAS HERE LEAF SO BADD?1!1?111/?12 Everyone ated her1! all ehr family nad frineds were DEED!1!1 shed gone throu so much and now not even JAXPAW her BSET FIREND would hepl here!11?  
**Cynthia: Good choice your friend made.  
Jade: Um?**

She flet her kits move in side her. she alreayd loved them s o much. But it was hard becuase she loved JazzStae! Her life was so TREIBL RITE NOW. Sudenly a starlcna cat came down from the sjy. It was….. SLIVERSTREAM!1 "dont worry GleamStap" said the silverstream! Itwall all be ok in the nd youll sef.  
**Cynthia: Said the silverstream.  
Jade: Silverstream 3**

"i dnot know how it can be." she said. "it will." Epxlinad Silberstream.  
**Cynthia: it will what?  
Jade: What are we doing again?**

"I HAVE KITS SILVERSDREAM! IKTS!11!1" SPARKLED STARGLEAM.  
**Cynthia: Sparkled? Is she Edward now? Because screw Twilight.  
Jade: Oooh Sparkles**

O know said StaSilverStream. "but ive ben in yoru place before iknown what it fells like,' she liked StarkIts fourhead. then she luf.

StarTit snifed. She had 2 get better. For her KTIS. SHHE START wwalking awy into the forest.  
**Cynthia: Except that Silverstream was pleased to have kits.  
Jade: She HAD 2**

I DONT KNOW IF I BEABLE TO UDATE MCUH RIHTE NWO IM SO SADDDDDDDDDDDD T-T  
**Cynthia: Oh, you will.  
Jade: Me too**


	32. THE KITS ARE COMING!

Chpater 24 THE BARLE  
StrGleam was dooo upset she was anrgy and confusd. Starcaln WHYYYYYYYYYY?11/1/1/11/1!1" She elld angrly.  
**Cynthia: Now to think of it, who's the kits' father?  
Jade: dunnno**

"Syarcaln can;t hlep you know!" said an evli vocie. "Theres nothin gthey can do for you!"  
**Cynthia: "Nothing religion can do for you" cliche.  
Jade: HAHA**

"WHAT WHO SAID THAT" SHE ASEKD IN FAER.

It is I, HolyLeaf!" said the voice again. Then HolyLefa bust out. The hole of ShadowCaln was with her and...THE DRARK FOFRST  
**Cynthia: Hollyleaf is your mother.  
Jade: yeah...**

OH NOOOOOO YELLED STARGLEAME STARCALN HELP ME"

And then...the Warriorsof Starcaln came down the sky1 They joined StarGlaem and told her "We wil fihth with you StarPaw because you saved us ocne."

"Kawaii" said SrarGleam and they stared figthging the cats.  
**Cynthia: That is the wrong reaction.  
Jade: Who says kawaii these days? **

StarStar ahd HolyLeaf pined down when suddenly... SHE FELT A MOVIE INSIDE HER!  
**Cynthia: Which movie?  
Jade: Oohh DIvergent?**

"MY KITS ARE COMIGN!1!1111!1!11!1" She owled.  
**Cynthia: "GASP!" gasped everybody. !11!1!1!1 -_-  
Jade: GASPED! gasped Jade**


	33. Bubblefur?

Chpater 24 THE BARLE  
StrGleam was dooo upset she was anrgy and confusd. Starcaln WHYYYYYYYYYY?11/1/1/11/1!1" She elld angrly.  
**Cynthia: Now to think of it, who's the kits' father?  
Jade: dunnno**

"Syarcaln can;t hlep you know!" said an evli vocie. "Theres nothin gthey can do for you!"  
**Cynthia: "Nothing religion can do for you" cliche.  
Jade: HAHA**

"WHAT WHO SAID THAT" SHE ASEKD IN FAER.

It is I, HolyLeaf!" said the voice again. Then HolyLefa bust out. The hole of ShadowCaln was with her and...THE DRARK FOFRST  
**Cynthia: Hollyleaf is your mother.  
Jade: yeah...**

OH NOOOOOO YELLED STARGLEAME STARCALN HELP ME"

And then...the Warriorsof Starcaln came down the sky1 They joined StarGlaem and told her "We wil fihth with you StarPaw because you saved us ocne."

"Kawaii" said SrarGleam and they stared figthging the cats.  
**Cynthia: That is the wrong reaction.  
Jade: Who says kawaii these days? **

StarStar ahd HolyLeaf pined down when suddenly... SHE FELT A MOVIE INSIDE HER!  
**Cynthia: Which movie?  
Jade: Oohh DIvergent?**

"MY KITS ARE COMIGN!1!1111!1!11!1" She owled.  
**Cynthia: "GASP!" gasped everybody. !11!1!1!1 -_-  
Jade: GASPED! gasped Jade**


	34. After birth agony

Chapter 333 Nwe Lifes  
OMGOHS IM SO SORRY I DIDNT UDPAT FFOR SO LOG! I ws really busy i was tryeing to write a sotry for nationle noelv writing . i got to ten thosuend words!11! also Ii turned 21 on the elebenth! :DDDDDD but anywax here is the new chapter, I shokld be upateing like i use to now  
**Cynthia: You're 21?! You are kidding me.  
Jade: YOU'RE 21?! *faints* **

Chapter 333 Nwe Lifes

Ther weree threr kits their. One off them was relly flufry and goldcolred one was brignt ornge the secoudn was a tiger. Evn thou she was in AGONYYYYYYYYY StarGlem smeled as she liked her kitens.  
**Cynthia: After birth there is no agony.  
Jade:... **

"Wat are you gong to cal them" akes jzzSong "ots not my chois remembre I men your the un wo had the kits!"  
**Cynthia: ?  
Jade: huh? **

"Hmmm" thaught aarGlema for a minuet beeofre she said "I thik the gold one will be DaFlufykit and the onrge one wil be FireKit and the tiger stripped one wil be TugerKit.  
**Cynthia: Dafluffykit? huh?  
Jade: DAFLUFFYKIT! **

"GASP" GASPED THE ENTER CALN. "HOW CAN YOU NAME I TIGERKIT DONTYOU KNW WHAT HE DID" YELLED BAMBLECLAW. "HE NERLY KILED ME"  
**Cynthia: Brambleclaw appears here for the first time.  
Jade: Well...he has a nephew called Tigerkit/heart so.. yeah**

"Yes I no but haf ou forgoten that hes alsomy dad." aid satRhleam. "Besuids I like the name."  
**Cynthia: But he was evil.  
Jade: Yeah I like the name as well. **

"Oka I gues" and BabelClaw wakked away but he was rell pset. StarGlema wihsed he wasunt so sedative.  
**Cynthia: Babelclaw. Also, Brambleclaw didn't induce sleep.  
Jade: Sedative . **

"I lick the nams" said JazzStaorg and she licked StarHlema on the hed. "There beatiful kids."

"I no" giggled StarGlema aand we;; love thm for ever and evar." "  
**Cynthia: I no for certain you are an idiot and always will be for ever and evar.  
Jade: I LICK NAMES TO. No i dont**


	35. Tiggerstar's rage attack

Chapter 34 TIGERSTARS ATTAK  
BUT THE BATLE WASNT OVERT YET!1!

All of a suddenly TIGEEERSTAR came runeing towrd her!11 "NOOOOO" he toweled. "I CN TELL THT TOGERKIT WILL BE GOOD! i dnt want a good kat named after me"" he said. SO HE LUMPED FOR STARELGM!111  
**Cynthia: Eh?  
Jade: He towled. **

"NOOOOOO." seramed whitestrom he jumped in front of her. "you csnt hurt her can't you se she has kTITS?' "lol" lalueghed TigerStar, "I dont care Im evillll!" And he attacked FufflyKit!1!1  
**Cynthia: Fluffykit. Also, kTITS. Notice the word Tits.  
Jade: HAHA SHE HAS KTITS. and this is after Sunset so Whitestorm should be dead. **

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO" said GleamStar. She tried to get to Fluffykit bt she was to quick. TigrStar scrathecd hsi nose!1! But FlfuyKit was a god firghter like his mo. so he jumped at tigerStar1!1! and so did FireKit and Tigerkit!1 They were all balting together!1!1

""look at that its amazing." Said sumone. "There fighting tohether!" Al the clan watched in aww.  
**Cynthia: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SINCE WHEN DO KITS FIGHT?!  
Jade: Awwwwwww. No. **

"YOU MAY HVE DEFEETED ME THIS TIM STARKIT" SAID TIGERSTar "BUT YOULL NEVER DO IT AGIN!" he ran way with the DarkFrost. So did Holy;eaf.

StarGelam pursed her nose into Ja Star. they one! She was so hpary. But then… from the darkrsness… came... … … … SHKIT!  
**Cynthia: Came...SHIT!  
Jade: Oh craaap really?**


	36. Fighting and Talking kits

Cahpert 34: Back Too the clan  
Cahpert 34 Back Too the clan

"AshTki what are you doint here?" asked GleameStar. She didnt se any reson for him to be their righte now btu he couldnt help but fel scarred.  
**Cynthia: Eh?  
Jade: *munches on cookie* **

"Im tacking a ckt.' aid AshFur and he grabed TigerKit and wakeld away. "You rejicted me and so now Im gon aget my refveng on you by RAISNG YOUR KIT TO BE EVIL!1!1!111"

"GASP NO" YELLED THE CALN THEY COUDNT NELEVE THAT ASHFUTE WOULD O SUCH A TING.  
**Cynthia: They gasped yelled. They gelled.  
Jade: Well lets see, He tried to kill Lionblaze, Jayfeather and Hollyleaf.**

"Not if i can hlpe it" rored FlufKit and he flew towrd AshFur with is calws open. "YOUR NOT TALING MY BORTHER ALIV!"

Al the cats in clan includng StarGlema and JazzFur watched in mazement as the little flufy kit began to attck AshFurt. "NOT MY BOTHER!" FLUFYKIT YELD AS HE ATCKED ASHFUR WITH HIS CLAWS MACKING THE CAT BLED. But evn thoguth he was hurt AshFru stil manged to drag TigerKit off even thoghu the tiget kkti was prosting. FlufyKir fel down and startd to crry.

"Its ok." said SarGlm and JazzSong as they came to confort the kit. "Im sure he will get back to us eventaly. I men hes your broterh and if hes anythng like you than he s a VRY GOD FIGHTER.  
**Cynthia: Kits cannot talk at this age. Starkit couldn't.  
Jade: Im very confused **

Btu Fluffykit waled loudly anywya. His wali was so loud that it alsmto souded like a trmpet. It was sooooooo loudly that a bnuch of cats ran to see waht was goin on.  
**Cynthia: Do they even know what is a trumpet?  
Jade: Dun dun DUDUUUUN**

And amon them...was FIRESTRA!1!1!1111!11  
**Cynthia: FIRESTRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Jade: Yay?**


	37. Very Important Christmas Special

VRY IMPOTENT MASSAGE  
**Cynthia: Ah... *sits back and waits for massage*  
Jade: Well what is it?**

Hey guisssss!1!11! It's ofcialy 12;03 aM on Decmbr 24 CHRISTMS were I life, and I thougt that since its everone's FAVORITE holyday I would write a Chritmas specil! Some ppl sad i shold.  
**Cynthia: dammit.  
Jade: yay?**

But b4 that I hav a differnt veirson of eht somng rudof the RedNosed Raindeer! :DDDD Its called… STAREGLAEM THE PRUPEL CAT!1111!

StarGlema the puprle cat  
Was a vrey purpel cat  
And if you evre saw hre.  
You wold evne say shes fat.  
**Cynthia: That's you. That's mean.  
Jade: ****Fat? **

Al of the othre cats  
used to laguth and call her ames.  
they nevre let por StarGealm  
join in ne kity games  
**Cynthia: -_-  
Jade: ...**

then one ofgy Gatherng  
BlueStar came to say  
SarGlema with our fur so bright  
won't you led the gathering tonigt?  
**Cynthia: Nobody leads the gathering.  
Jade: ...**

Then al the kites loved her  
as they shoted out with gle  
StarGlema the purlep cat  
youll go don in histroy!  
**Cynthia: Infamously.  
Jade: OH THIS WAS IN THE RUDOPH THE RED NOSE REINDEERS TUNE? **

Ok now hers the speciail.

SpottedLeaf cam dwn from the sky to appar to Jay Feather on a dream. She told him that "DawnSparkle will have a kit, and her name must be StarGleam." JayFather asked how this wad suppoded to happn, since she hadn't done u-kno-wat with DawnSparkle at that pont. YellowFanng repld. "Trust in GoStarvlan and they wont led you wong."  
**Cynthia: They already have.  
Jade: **

So then DawnDparkle and JayFeather went arund fir a while and then the baby started to come!1!11 So the went to an inn but the inkerpr wouldnt let them stay thr. So they went to a barn instead and all the other aminals gathered ronnd to see the birth.  
**Cynthia: Wait...what? WHAT? THIS IS JESUS'S STORY NOT YOURS THIS IS MADNESS AND DISRESPECT STOP  
Jade:...**

AND THEN STARKIT WAS BORN!1!1111111!1!11!1!11!11!1 Then ther e was a relly brigt star a bove them, and then LionHeart, BleuStar and YelloFang

"Wat are you doin her?" asked DawnSparkle and then they said "Were heremto see baby JdSusKit.  
**Cynthia: O_O  
Jade: *cries* I DUNNO**

"Ok come see hier then" said DawnSparkle and ten they all came over to her. The also gave her gold, frankenstein and mir.

"This is our savor." said Bluesatr. "We know it. We sae t in the stars. Starkit will ne JESUSS!1!1!1!11  
**Cynthia: If Starkit was Jesus, we'd all be dead by now.  
Jade: ERH MEH GAWD**

Hark the herald angels sing  
"Glory to the newborn King!  
Peace on earth and mercy mild  
God and sinners reconciled"  
Joyful, all ye nations rise  
Join the triumph of the skies  
With the angelic host proclaim:  
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"  
Hark! The herald angels sing  
"Glory to the newborn King!"

(i copied the lyrics since i didnt know the song)

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! (Webmaster's note: It's unclear to me if this last line is copy/pasted or whomever actually is just broke character.)  
**Cynthia: This is a trollfic. You can spell perfectly well.  
Jade: Wow. **


	38. WE FINISHED!

**Cynthia: I...survived...*wheezes* I AM DAUNTLESS! Anyway, creds go partly to Erin Hunter and uh Starstar, and Jazzsong, and some other random flamers and satanists. This WAS a trollfic, and we just wanted to challenge ourselves. Anyway, 21 year old...Starstar..where did you come from? But whatever I enjoyed looking and commenting on the story, and so did Jade (deep down inside) Right. THANK YOU STARSTAR AND I HOPE Y'ALL LIKE THIS COMMENTARY THANKS AND CYNDYWAFFLES AWAY!**

**Jade: *dances* WE FINISHED WE FINISHED! As Cynthia said, some credits go to Erin Hunter and the author of this story. It wasn't all totally bad and we had a good laugh now and again. I certainly enjoyed commenting on this story. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND CHECK OUT OUR STORIES! THANK YOU AND JADEYCOOKIE AWAY! **


End file.
